She's Just My Baby Momma B.E

Chapter 6

Billie pov

Niara's voice cuts through the stillness of the room as she commands me to breathe in, her body gracefully contorted into a downward dog pose. I've never been much of a yogi, but ever since she moved in, she's been adamant about incorporating it into our morning routine. So here I am, sitting cross-legged beside her, attempting to find some semblance of inner peace through meditation.

She claims it'll help me mentally prepare for the upcoming tour, a way to work through my emotions and thoughts. At first, I dismissed it as nonsense, but now I find myself joining her every morning for a 15-minute session. We usually start with a blunt to lift our spirits before diving into our practice, and afterward, we take a moment to journal our thoughts and feelings.

"How do you feel?" Niara asks, settling back into a resting position.

"I feel good," I reply, opening one eye to glance at her.

"I think I need more time, so you can go ahead and start journaling without me," she continues, shifting into her next pose. As she begins her practice, I reach for my notebook, contemplating what to write. Writing down my thoughts still feels daunting, my anxiety casting a shadow over the process. I'm not exactly ready to confront how I feel so just cover the things I feel comfortable talking about.

As Naira focuses on her yoga poses, I settle into a comfortable position and open my notebook, ready to jot down my thoughts. "Today feels different somehow like the weight of the world is pressing down on my shoulders." I start to write, the pen scratching against the paper as I try to articulate the swirling mess of emotions inside me.

"Today feels heavy," I write, the words spilling out in a messy scrawl. "I'm about to embark on this tour, and I can't shake this feeling of uncertainty. What if I'm not ready? What if I fail?"

The doubts linger in my mind, gnawing at me like a persistent itch. I chew on the end of my pen, lost in thought as I try to make sense of it all. Niara's presence beside me is a comfort, her serene aura a calming influence amidst the chaos of my mind.

"I know I should be excited, but there's this underlying fear that's holding me back," I continue to write, the words pouring out faster now. "What if I'm not cut out for this? What if I let everyone down?"

The page fills with my anxious thoughts, the ink blurring together in places as my hand moves across the paper. But with each word, I feel a weight lifting off my chest, as if putting my fears into words has granted them less power over me.

As I finish my journal entry, I glance over at Niara, who's now moved into a seated position, her eyes closed in concentration. She opens her eyes and makes her way over to me, holding me from the back and kissing me on the cheek.

Niara's touch sends a shiver down my spine, her warmth seeping into my skin as she wraps her arms around me. Her lips brush against my cheek, leaving a trail of soft kisses in their wake. I lean into her embrace, relishing the feeling of her presence beside me.

"Thanks for doing this with me," she murmurs, her voice soft and melodic. "I want you to practice being honest with yourself. Maybe it's not today or tomorrow, but what are you really afraid of? Focus on that feeling, feel it, observe it, and most importantly don't stay stuck on it, learn from it." 

Niara's words sink deep into my consciousness, stirring up a whirlwind of emotions within me. I nod slowly, absorbing her advice like a sponge, eager to grasp onto any semblance of clarity that her wisdom might offer.