BROKEN THINGS

21

"So what was all that about" Sachin asked a few minutes after he got Rahul settled back on the bed.

"What all?" Rahul tried to act ignorant but Sachin pinned him with a no nonsense look.

"Rahul, you stopped breathing," he pulled up a chair beside the bed, "What is going on? I can help. You know I can,"

Rahul looked at him helplessly. Sachin was gazing at him, with pleading, with determination with so much care though he had backstabbed all of them. He turned his eyes away. He hated it. They needed to stop looking at him like that. He didn't deserve it anymore. Sachin took his hand.

"Why were you in that corridoor?" he asked softly.

Rahul didn't answer, finding the plain white sheets far too interesting. His jaw clenched as Sachin carressed the back of his hand with his thumb but he didn't say or do anything. It was far too exhausting to even take his hand back.

"Did you go to see him?"

Rahul stiffened. Sachin either must have seen him come out or had joined the dots. But it was no point denying if he already knew. He didn't want to admit it either. So he stayed silent. Sachin drew his answers from the silence.

"You went to see him,".

It wasn't a question.

"Why?"

Rahul shrugged. Not like he could go ahead and say that he had threatened the man, cleared all records, bound all the loose threads so he didn't have to stay on and keep protecting them from that piece of shit. Really. Greg had done him a huge huge favor by losing his temper and beating the shit out of him. His broken ribs were so worth the leverage he had gotten. That little leverage was all that he had needed to flip the tables on him. But Sachin didn't know that. Sachin couldn't know that. Heck he was sure that if Sachin even got an inkling of his gratefulness for getting beaten up so spectacularly, he would get thrown into a rubber room before he could even blink.

Sachin was quiet for a while before surprising him with his question, "How did he look?" he asked with vengeful eagerness.

Rahul couldn't help the way his lips twitched into a grin, which soon turned into a grimace courtesy of his jaw, "Awful,".

Sachin grinned a little psychotically, "Sourav is a king," he cackled.

Rahul swallowed, smiling painfully, "He is," he agreed. His brother really was a king. Rahul had never deserved him. Never will.

Sachin sensed the change in his mood, and leaned close, "Are you okay?"

Rahul nodded. He was. Especially now. But he couldn't meet Sachin's eyes and see his care again. It was killing him again and again. Sachin gently cupped his injured jaw, feather like fingers running over the swollen area making him look back up. His touch for some reason didn't hurt though even smiling hurt. He stared deeply into Rahul's very soul with unreadable eyes, still carressing his jaw. Rahul stared back entranced, what did the man want from him?

Then Sachin leaned closer, making Rahul instinctively close his eyes. He felt a press of his lips on his forehead making his eyes fly back open again in surprise.

"We are here Jam,".

He knew that. He knew that they were there. Which is what hurt. He would feel better about himself had they not been there. Without his permission, water began blurring his vision. He blinked rapidly trying to get rid of it.

"You can cry," Sachin told him, an unbearably sad look on his face. Rahul shook his head a little. He couldn't. He couldn't cry. If he began crying. He would never be able to stop. He had fallen so far in his own eyes. This was one place where he didn't want to fall, forcing people who he had hurt to care for his pathetic ass. He couldn't.

Sachin sighed and just pressed his head against his stomach, a hand running comfortingly over his scalp, not allowing him to pull away. Rahul finally gave in and let him do whatever he wants, he was tired. Very tired. And that hand felt good.