BROKEN THINGS

48

Sachin was feeling as if he had been hollowed out, his flesh, his organs carved out with a jagged knife. He couldn't process this. His brain refused to digest the horrific events as they were narrated. He wished it was a joke, a story. Not a long hidden truth that he had to work so hard to get to know only to wish that it wasn't true. With no small amount of guilt he wished, wished that things were simpler and it had just been a case of Rahul making a bad decision back then. He wished that it was just Rahul at fault. Not Rahul making the best of the terrible situation he had been in.

He looked at the man. Rahul didn't look troubled. Only a little lost in thought, a strange blank look on his face, eyes open but unseeing. He had stopped talking right after narrating how he had stumbled upon the whole truth himself, not even a year ago.

"A-re," he cleared his throat trying to get himself to sound less croaky, he was crying and hadn't realized, "Are you okay?"

Rahul didn't answer. Still lost in thought. Sachin reached out and tapped his clenched fist resting in the middle of the table. Rahul startled and looked at him. The empty look sliding away for a bleary confusion.

"Are you okay?" Sachin repeated, concerned.

"Huh?" Rahul shook himself out of his stupor, "Yeah- yeah I am okay," he frowned and cocked his head, "Are you okay?"

Sachin rolled his eyes, wiping his face of any tears that may still be there with his sleeve, "You stupid idiot. Why would I not be? I am just listening,".

"You are crying," Rahul pointed out, mouth doing that unhappy twitch of disapproval.

"Really? I didn't notice," Sachin retorted sarcastically. The audacity of this man to ask him if he is okay while narrating horrific things that had happened to him. Was Sachin unnecessarily getting worked up? Yes. His emotions were overwrought and Rahul had this special way of getting on his last nerves always. Because how did it make sense for Rahul to worry over him when he was the one so not okay. This frustrating habit was one of the many things Sachin loved and hated and had made him fall for him.

Rahul seemed to read some of what was going on in his mind for he said, "You don't need to worry. Everything is okay now. It is all in the past,".

Sachin clutched his hair, "What do you mean it is okay now?! That man has god knows what kind of photos-"

Rahul shook his head, "It is not going to be a threat anymore,".

Sachin stared, "What do you mean?"

Rahul shrugged, "Since last year, I had been clearing out all the physical copies of the photos in his posession, each chance I got. He caught on towards the end and told me it wouldn't matter because he had digital copies too,".

Sachin stared at him, very confused, "I hate to say this but I dont see how he is wrong?"

Rahul got a hint of a smirk on his face, a pale shadow of what his once knowing, smug smiles used to be but it was something atleast. Something of his Rahul. Who he used to be.

"The thing with being the captain is that you often get the masterkeys unquestioned. Two days before the World Cup, I managed to get hold of a highly powerful electromagnet," Rahul smiled flatly, "It barely takes a radius of ten feet to destroy a device completely. I made sure to rub it on each of his devices. Ofcourse he may have more copies hidden somewhere but from the way he was furious about it, I sincerely doubt that there are too many photos saved anywhere else. Maybe mine since he was stalking me for so long but the rest of you are probably safe,".

Sachin was reeling. He could infact remember, two days before the world cup, Anil whose room was the closest after Rahul's to Chappel's; complaining of his newest camera crashing. On top of that, his phone had gone out too. Chappel's devices stood no chance. Before he could comment on the pure genius, borderline deviousness of it, Rahul continued.

"And besides. He beat me up. Publically. He has hurt me so many times before but it never came out to public. Heck no one ever saw a mark on me. But this time, it was all over the news. It was the best thing he could have done for me. BCCI is only holding back on my word. Chappel knows that. He needs to make one wrong move and I will personally make sure he doesn't see the light of the day again. He knows that too,".

Sachin swallowed. But that didn't make sense. It made no sense after all. If Rahul knew Chappel was not going to do anything, could not do anything; then why had he run. Why was he refusing to come back. Why did he not tell them anything, even now he had to be forced, even now he didn't want to. Why?

"But-but that means you can comeback! Right?! You are safe. Everyone is safe! You can come back but then why-" Sachin rambled anxiously, there couldn't be more could there?

Rahul's face twisted into a grimace, "Sachin. I can't go bac-"

"Why not?!" Sachin didn't care that his hands were shaking as he grasped Rahul's hand, "Why not?! Everyone wants you back, you can't tell me that you don't want to-"

"Because I will not risk it again!" Rahul snapped, uncharacteristically sharp and he snatched his hand away. His breathing was hollowing out and there was a strange manic look coming into his eyes, "I will not risk even the probability of him having any copy of any photograph that can harm any of you! Do you not understand how crazy he is?! He swore to not let me live in peace Sachin. And he is crazy enough to do it! I will not risk any of you. I have done enough damage,"

Sachin let a stunned silence overtake him. It didn't make sense. It still didn't make sense. Which was crazy because Rahul always made sense. There was something else, something deep within the man sitting infront of him. Rahul had never let fear rule him to this degree that he would drop everything he loved, his very life, and go into a hiding. And that look in his eyes... every other emotion he could recognize. The blankness when deep in thought, the grimaces of pain, the discomfort with which he was shifting, forcing himself to answer all of Sachin's questions. Going through his worst memories again. All for what? So he wouldn't call Sourav here?

Rahul would rather tell him the truth than face Sourav... there was something more going on. Not on the outside maybe, maybe that story was it. But Rahul's reasons for not coming back were obscure, hidden between half-lies and untruths. Maybe he himself didn't know why. But Sachin was determined to find what it is. He was here. He was here to stay. Until Rahul himself could walk back to his home.