BROKEN THINGS

37

Sachin sighed as he collapsed onto the sidewalk, blankly staring at the A4 size paper in his hands. It was a photo of Rahul, taken before this entire mess had started. It was a simple photo, black background, Rahul smiling. Maybe they had chosen the wrong photo. When was the last time they had seen Rahul smile? As time was passing by, with each moment of the past resurfacing in their brains, they were forced to reconcile with a few facts.

One that Rahul may have hidden a lot from them, but also they themselves had never looked to see if there was something happening beneath their noses. Infact they had made it a point to not look at the man unless strictly necessary. What had they expected after that? That Rahul would just ask them for help? That Rahul would spill his heart out to them after they had made sure to drive across one simple terrible fact- they were not friends let alone anything beyond that?

Sure Rahul had been the first to turn his face away back when Sourav had been sacked. Rahul had cut off communications since the letter fiasco. They had thrown accusations, some which hurt to even think off at his face. He had said nothing. Heard them out, let them work their anger out, let them walk out. It was a week or so later that everyone had realized he had changed his number and it was now private. He had moved to Bangalore without so much as a peep. They had thought it would pass eventually, they would solve their issues; having no idea a bigger storm was about to hit the next month. Sachin could remember banging at the door of his Bangalore house at the middle of the night after the team list had come without Sourav's name on it. Rahul had opened the door and in his rage, Sachin hadn't noticed how terrible he had looked. Red eyes, hair growing unruly from the lack of care, deep bags beneath his eyes.

And what had Sachin done, shoved him inside bodily Rahul had stumbled and fallen backwards.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" he had screamed.

Rahul hadn't answered.

"Answer damn it!" he could still remember how much his chest had been burning that night. Out of all of them, he had been the one who had been the most insistent, the most sure that there was something else going on. There was no way his Rahul would do that to his brother, conspire to steal his place. At first they had all been sure. But with the continued silence, everyone slowly started doubting it. Had Rahul really done that? To his own brother? To their Dada? Harbhajjan had been the first to crack, and the rest soon had followed. Except him. He hadn't believed until he had seen the team list. The reason to not include Sourav Ganguly was also listed- mentally and physically unfit. Signed by the coach and the captain. So he had taken the first flight to Bangalore and arrived, his anger turning into a fit of rage by the time Rahul had come infront of his eyes.

Now that he thought about it, Rahul may have been crying that night. The red eyes, the hoarse "I am sorry," being the only words he had uttered that night while Sachin had screamed his lungs out, yelling and demanding to know why he had done what he had done. If anything. That sorry had sealed it in Sachin's head. That it had indeed been Rahul, Rahul who had thrown Sachin's bestfriend and his own brother out. Rahul who had played a part in that letter. He had stormed out, a nail in the coffin for the love he had had for the man.

And since that night, Sachin had never looked. Never looked at how Rahul, who loved eating out, rarely ate outside he room if he did at all. Never looked at how the joy that had drawn Sachin to him in the first place, the sheer joy that Rahul got from playing was no longer there. Never looked at how every time they lost a match, Rahul would go out of his way to keep the coach away from the team. At that time they had sneered at the behaviour, it had been coming off as Rahul sticking to Chappel. But now... now he doubted. He seriously doubted if that was the case.

 He sighed and rubbed his eyes, finally looking away from the face he would die a hundred times to just see once more. One chance to fix things. He knew he could. He really could

"One chance meri jaan. Just one more chance," he whispered before picking himself off the pavement and bringing his mind back to the task.

They were going around neighbourhoods, in no particular order, showing people his picture and asking if they had seen him. It was not an easy job considering that there were a number of people who recognized them. Their excuses were running out at this point as they made up bullshit on why they were asking around for their friend. He was sure that some sort of a rumor must have gotten out by now. As long as they could keep it out of the international news for a while though. Everyone was using every friend in media they had to keep the information quiet but they were not going to be able to keep this up forever.

He stopped near a red light and looked around, trying to ignore the uncomfortable grumble of hunger in his stomach. This was the not last lane he had planned on checking out for tonight. Infact he didnt want to go back tonight. Not empty handed. He hadn't planned on stopping at all but having walked god knows how many miles, his stomach was beginning to scream. It wasn't used to being this empty.

He sighed as his stomach grumbled again, eyeing the restaurant not a few feet away from him. He really should get back to his work but he had had an early lunch and god was he hungry. He eyed the photo again.

"This is why you don't deserve him" Sachin scolded himself. Had Rahul been in his shoes, he would have not stopped for mere food. But then again, Rahul would have never lost him in the first place. He stared at the restaurant again. It was a small place but well lit and bussling with enough people that it wasn't crowded but full enough. There was a strong smell of curries and stews wafting down to him, making his mouth salivate. Authentic Carribean food...

"I can find you better with a full stomach, right Jam?" he murmured to the photo and walked slowly towards the restaurant. Just a quick bite and then back to work.