BROKEN THINGS

49

Sachin had to switch off his phone after shooting a couple of explanatory text messages to his friends that an old friend was helping him work on a possible lead and he would only be back the next day. Immediately both Sourav and Anil who had anyway blowing his phone up with calls, went crazy both on texts and with calls. He told them to chill before switching off his phone knowing that he was inviting a murder. But he couldn't quite deal with everything that he had just been told and somehow come up with enough emotional stability to face boys who knew him so thoroughly they didn't need words to know something was wrong.

And he had a secret to keep that depended on him being able to hide all this. 

Because yes he intended to keep the promise after all. It had been a long hour of silence of him just sitting on that stupid table, staring off into the void, trying to decide what to do. On one hand... on one hand Rahul's spirited refusal (and that was putting it lightly) to meeting Sourav only was convincing him further that Rahul needed to meet Sourav. The two were mistaken for twins not just because of their shared surname and similar age. They were or had been, quite literally joined at the hip. Their level of synchronisation initially could be scary. If anyone could get through to Rahul and bring him home, it was Sourav.

 But on the other hand... this was a man who had had terrible stuff happen to him all because one mad man had control issues. Sure there was some stuff he still wished Rahul had never done; like not telling him about the picture in the first place or at the very least tell somebody else instead of trying to deal with it on his own. But that did nothing to erase the fact that Rahul  had suffered, had suffered horribly for so many many months. And he had no one. The trust Rahul was putting in him was fragile at best, bought over by sheer leverage Sachin had on him. He couldn't break Rahul further, he couldn't beat him when he was down, even if it was for his own good.

So in the end, he hadn't called Sourav. He couldn't call Sourav. Nor did he know what to do.

"Are you not going to go back?" Rahul asked hoarsely. Sachin startled. He had forgotten he was still sitting at the table, still thinking. His phone lay abandoned in his hands and Rahul's eyes were trained right on that.

"I switched it off," Sachin reassured causing Rahul to avert his gaze at being caught. He had seen Rahul sick, sweaty, hell even bloody beaten to a pulp. But none of those times had Rahul painted a sadder picture than the one sitting infront of him at the moment, slouched in his chair, eyes bereft of any life, looking gaunt even in good lighting. If he wasn't constantly fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie, scratching mindlessly at his forearms, Sachin would have mistaken him for dead. Tears welled in his eyes at the very thought and he blinked them away furiously, not wanting Rahul to see. He had enough on his plate as it was.

"Can I stay here tonight?" he asked, clearing the pins and needles in his throat, ignoring how obviously emotional he sounded. Rahul's eyes snapped up to his, panic flooding in them and Sachin tried not to feel hurt. Rahul wasn't alright. Heck he wasn't alright. It wouldn't be fair to judge him on his emotions right now. 

"I can't go back until... until I have processed all this and know what to tell them. I just... don't think I will be able to hide it right now and well... I don't know where else to go,".

"No it's okay, I will clear the room for you," Rahul's voice was small when he answered and Sachin couldn't-couldn't ignore the tremble.

Rahul was scared of even him staying. And despite their history, Rahul's past year and more, it still didn't make sense. It didn't. Nothing made sense still. All his questions had been answered and yet ones he couldn't even put to words seem to be raging on.

"Don't. I will take the couch," he found himself saying, dismissing any protests Rahul had of how he should take the bed instead. Rahul did shut up when he threatened to sleep on the floor if he argued more.

He didn't have the energy to pursue his answers right now. He needed sleep. He needed to sleep and wish that whatever had happened... just didn't so when he opened his eyes again, Rahul was still his favorite secret and the world was still beneath their feet... not actively crushing them to death.

Instead of dreams of their perfect wonderful days, back withing their hands, all Sachin dreamt of was Rahul being beaten down again and again and again while Sachin... Sachin only watched. Failing him again and again and again.