Deep Emotions

𝑴𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅

This skin that I live in has never felt like my own.
No matter what I do it's never felt like home.
"Stand up straight, suck in that belly!"
All I ever wanted to do was to tell you to "Stop It!'
That was never the right way to speak to a daughter.
You were supposed to love me, you're supposed to be my mother.
It must be so nice to have someone to protect you without poisoning your mind.
Sometimes I'd cry to you, seeking advice.
I once told you I had wanted to take my own life.
You were busy, as per always, made me feel like an idiot.
"What could be so wrong with your life that you could ever feel like ending it?"
You asked me that question,your words came out like venom.
I had just poured my heart out to you, told you what broke me.
I couldn't bear any longer to allow it to choke me.
You said it was my fault, that couldn't possibly have happened.

So, I refuse to ever try to walk in your shoes.
I've gotten away from you, yet I'm somehow not free.
Motherhood means it's time to understand me.
To understand your daughter!
Your little love.

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