Hold Me Close (woosan)

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San pov:
I laid back in my bed, watching TV as I hugged one of wooyoungs biggest plushies. He called her DJANGO. I was barely paying attention to the movie I was watching, my mind clouding with my lover. Wooyoung. I can't clear my head. I'm horrible. I want wooyoung. I sighed as tears reappeared in my eyes. I just let the tears fall down, too tired to fight against them. I sniffed, closed my eyes, hoping I could fall back asleep. The door opened, revealing hongjoong. "San-ah? Wake up" he said. I opened my eyes and looked at him, my vision still quite blurry from all the crying. I sat up as he sat down on the bed. "Why would he be here? Isn't he mad at me? Oh no, what did I do wrong now?" The thoughts clouded my mind. "Maybe something happened to wooyoung. Maybe he's back! Or maybe he got into a horrible accident.. or maybe he wants a divorce.. or maybe he c-" my thoughts were interuppted by a snap of hongjoongs fingers in front of my face. "Earth to San?" He asked. I looked at him. "I-im sorry. G-god i-" I stuttered. He interuppted me. "Are you sure you're okay, Sannie? I know that I'm usually harsh.. but I'm still your leader.. I want you to be able to tell me anything. And what I saw while we were eating scared me. I've never seen you like this, hun" he said in a soft and caring voice. He stroked my hair even though it felt greasy. "I-im sorry- I haven't showered yet- i-i I.. I s-should shower first" I stuttered. "You had some food, right? Do you feel dizzy?" He asked worriedly with a pained look. "Why does he feel bad? This is my fault. Not his.." I thought. "I had some food, hyung.. no, I don't feel dizzy" I said quietly. "Take a quick shower and freshen up, baby. We'll talk after." He said as he patted my head. I nodded in response. I quickly stood up, grabbed some clothes and walked into the bathroom. I undressed myself and took a quick shower. After I finished, I dried myself. I combed my hair and put on some oversized clothes.

Wooyoung pov:
"Woowoo, play nice, or we're not going to the playground after lunch." Yeonjun said strictly. I whined. "Nuhhh! Wanna gwo to pwaygwound" I whined. "Then be nice and share your toys, little one" soobin said in a soft voice. "But Mrs. Duckie is miwne! A-appa gimme it.." I stuttered and teared up. "Aww, baby. I'm sorry.. don't cry, princess. Daddy didn't mean it. Please don't cry. It's okay, shhhh" Soobin said worriedly. "Babe, calm down" yeonjun said as he grabbed his shoulders. "I'm sorry.." he said and looked down with a sigh. "It's okay. It's normal, hm? Everyone makes mistakes as a caregiver, I promise. I made enough mistakes myself with these two" he chuckled. I pouted and hugged him. "It otay, daddy" I said, looking up at him from his chest. He looked down at me and smiled softly. "Do you feel your heart warming every time you see this aswell, junnie?" He asked, holding his heart. "Of course I do. These little cuties are so heartwarming" he said and kissed the others' cheek. "Hey!! I wanna huggies chu!!" Binnie whined. "Aww~ come here, binnie" yeonjun said and he opened his arm for the other little to join the hug. I giggled. "Chu wanna pway wiff Mrs. Duckie?" I asked binnie. "We pway together, woowoo!" He said and giggled. I handed him the duck and he smiled brightly behind his pacifier. "Duckie destwoy cityyy pahhhh" he said in a playful voice. "Honey save all babies fwom duckie pew pewww" I giggled.

We continued playing until yeonjun came back into the room. "Lunch is ready, my sweet babies" he said. "Yayyy!!" Binnie yelled, making soobin chuckle. I smiled. "Come one, little one" soobin said as he held his hand out for me to grab. I grabbed his hand and we walked towards the kitchen together. We all sat down. "Are you excited to go home tonight, binnie?" Soobin asked the other little as he was feeding him. "Yesh!! I mwiss my appa!" He said. I frowned. I miss my appa too... "You know you can stay as long as you'd like, right?" Yeonjun asked me to which I nodded. "Woowoo know.." I said quietly. "Poor baby.." he said as he stroked my hair.

All 4 of us were at the playground in the park nearby the house. Binnie and me were on the swings, giggling together. "Woowoo reach tha skyyyy" I cheered. "I weach higherrr" binnie giggled. "Race you to mommy!!" I yelled, running off the swings. "Heyy!! Wait fo' mweee!" The other little yelled. I giggled. "Mommy catchieeee!!" I yelled as I ran into his arms. He wrapped his arms around me and chuckled. "Daddyyy!" The other little yelled, running into soobins arms. Yeonjun kissed my head. "Mommy, I wub chu" I said. "I love you too- is that Yeosang? With Jongho?" He suddenly asked, looking past me. I looked to where he was looking. It was them. They were holding hands, looking at each other and Yeosang was blushing. "It's them.." I said, looking down. I didn't feel little anymore. I felt sad again. "Hey, it's okay, hm? You don't have to go to them" yeonjun said. "I know.. it just hurts.." I said. "I know it does, woo. And you can go home if you want to" he said. I nodded. "I'm not going home. Like you said, I'm not letting him win." I said. He chuckled. "Hey! Wooyoung!" We suddenly heard. It was yeosang. They walked up to us. Yeonjun held my waist. "U-uh hi..." I said quietly in response. "How are you? Are you okay? When are you coming home? Are you little?" He asked. I breathed anxiously. "U-uhm.. i-im fine.. n-no I'm not l-little right now.. uhm.. i-i don't know when I'm coming h-home yet.. h-how are y-you?" I stuttered. "We're doing really good. We're on a date right now. We made up and I promised Jongho I'd never kiss anyone else ever again and I promised hyungs I'd never pull any of this again" he said happily. My hands were shaky and it felt like my throat was closing up. "San has been doing horrible by the way. He's barely eating or drinking and he looks so bad.. he's been crying a lot too! He really misses you and wants you ba-" he said but yeonjun interuppted him. "I don't think he wants to talk about it yet. Yeosang, It's really good that you and Jongho managed to make up, but wooyoung has been having a hard time and san has done more than just this." Yeonjun said. I had tears in my eyes while I thought about my husband. "Alright- uhm- sorry.. we'll go.. I hope we see you soon, wooyoungie" yeosang said. I nodded. "Bye, woowoo" Jongho said as he patted my head. "Bye bye, jongie" I said, smiling slightly. "Bye, wooyoung" yeosang said. "Bye, yeo." I said in an emotionless tone. They walked away from us.

I pouted. "Are you sure you don't want to go home, baby?" Yeonjun asked as we walked home. I shrugged. "I don't know.." I said. "Binnie, no running!" Soobin said. "Nuh uh! I wun home, daddy!" He said in a sassy tone. "Quit the sas, baby boy" soobin said strictly. "Nuh!" The little whined. Soobin picked the little up. "As soon as we get home, you're going to bed. It's naptime for you." Soobin said strictly. "You guys can head home.. I think I have to clear my head. I'll be home later, alright?" I asked. "Of course, baby. Stay safe and call us if something happens" he said. I nodded. I had wiggles in my hands and smiled. "Let's go and take honey home, binnie- awww~" soobin said as he held the sleeping little. "Baby boy was so tired~" yeonjun said, smiling. "Night night, binnie~ and I'll see you later" I whispered. "Bye bye, baby" yeonjun said. They walked the other way.

I walked through the park, enjoying the sunset. I ended up at a bridge. I sat down on the bench, watching the sun go down. The water looked beautiful. I sighed, staring at the water. I grabbed wiggles from my bag. I sighed and teared up. "I'm so lost without you... I want to go back to you but I can't let you win.. I love you.." I mumbled to myself. "Wooyoung?" A voice asked, the person sitting next to me. I looked over to see seonghwa. "O-oh.. hey, hyung.." I said. He reached an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a hug. I started sobbing loudly. "Let it all out, baby. Mama's here, shhh~" he comforted as I sobbed in his arms. I straddled his lap, hugging him tightly. he stroked my hair and rocked me from side to side. "Mama's here.. mama's here, baby.. shhh~" he whispered softly. I held his shirt and looked up at him, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Wan' go home, mama.." I mumbled. "To junnie or home home?" He asked. "Home home.. mwiss daddies.. and appa.." I mumbled. "I know you do, hm? Let's go" he said as he picked me up. There was a car nearby and it was a short drive to our house. Seonghwa texted yeonjun that I'd be at home. Once we entered the house we heard gasps. "I found him at the halazia Bridge. Do NOT let San know that he's here." He lectured strictly. I sniffled and pouted. "Appa?" I asked quietly. "No appa, baby.. tomorrow you'll see appa" he whispered softly. "Otay" I mumbled and closed my eyes. He carried me into yunho and Mingi's bedroom and he laid me down. "Sleep well, princess" he whispered. I hugged wiggles tightly and fell asleep.

-morning-

San pov:
I woke up, alone. Like the past weeks. I sighed and laid there. There was a knock on the door. "Morning, sannie" hongjoong said as he walked in. "Goodmorning, hyung..." I said in response. "You ready to talk?" He asked as he sat on the side of the bed. I started looking away from him as I started to tear up again. "Come here, sannie. Shhh~" he comforted as he pulled me into his arms. I hugged him tightly and sobbed into his arms. "I want him back, hyung! I-i really miss him! I'd do anything to get him back! I swear! I'd give up being an idol just for him! I won't ever look at another man again! I just want him.. want to hold him, kiss him, take care of him... i-i can't lose him! H-he is my l-life! I made a mistake and I'm s-sorry! I'm so l-lost without him! Hyung please make him c-come back.. I promise I'll take care of him! I'd do anything he wants! I just want my wooyoung back.. I love him with all my heart... please hyung... I'm so lost...