Spurs for Studs.

21

It took a while for Kristie to speak the next morning. Used to dealing with things on her own. A quality dawned by older sisters. Her first words apologies, finding the coffee machine ready for her to just have to push a button. A task she appreciated when she strolled out blurry eyed and encumbered by sleep, only having to push one simple button. An orange mug the Houston dash logo proudly displayed across the face of the mug under the spout of the machine. I arrive home from the school, dropping Abi off a few minutes too early- having been relegated to waiting for the school doors to open. "I'm sorry for how my father acted." Were the first words to leave her mouth. Mug on the counter, arms flexed supporting her weight as she scanned the array of awaiting mail spread over cheap counters. 

Nodding in response. "It's cool. Dad's suck." I offer up, clutching the spit cup in my left hand- raising it to my lips. "He's not you, ya know." I try to smooth things over. My daddy issues weren't mutual with her experiences. 

She chuckles smoothly, pushing away the junk mail. Righting herself so her hips press against the cabinetry. "He's just normally not such a dick. If he would only shut up for a minute he would see what I see in you." She muttered aloud, rubbing the bridge of her nose. I stalk towards her, wrapping her in a tight embrace. Placing a kiss on her shoulder and another one on the side of her temple. 

"Parent's aren't a fan of me. They ain't like dumbasses." It was truthful. Parent's never wished for their kids especially college educated kids to be involved with someone who on a bad day had to pull out their fingers to count. "Shit... I knew he wouldn't like me." It was raw. A thought that should have never slipped her lips. 

Kristie turns to face me grasping my chin in her hands. "If you didn't have a dip in I would kiss you. But also you aren't a dumbass. Sure you didn't go to college but what all does that matter. If he would just take a moment to get to know you and even ponder on how happy you make me" 

I cut in halfway confused at the word. "I'm sorry what's the P word mean?"

"Ponder?" I nod silently, heat rising creeping up my neck. "It just means to think over." I nod once more.

"Kristie I don't care what your dad thinks of me. I knew he wouldn't give a rats ass about me. I care what you think. I love you." It was an attempt to smooth over her quickly rising temperament. "Now we need to get ready for training." Pulling her focus to the tangible things in her life. The pair walked hand in hand towards the bedroom, orange coffee mug abandoned on the counter top. They moved in a well timed dance brushing unruly hair, scrubbing plaque off  teeth, swishing minty mouthwash, rinsing product off skin.

Practice went smoothly at least for me. Kristie on the other hand was making careless mistake after careless mistake, miss timed touches, heavy passes, weak crosses. You could see the mistakes catching up to her. Her hand coming up a few times to smack herself across the forehead. The scrimmage only amplifying the lack of attention. Schmidt had cracked that she looked like Bambi on ice. A remark that resulted in a rather pointed stare one that dripped with malice. "Shut it Schmidt." Was the only response that would send her into a meeting with human resources. 

The Canadian took the ode of advice effectively zipping her lips, only to open them for an awaiting cross of a switch in coverage. Kristie was pulled ten minutes into the scrimmage, sent off with Thomas the sports psych, the same Tommy she had been avoiding since landing in Houston.  The scrimmage dwindled after Kristie left shoulders pulled to her ears, jaw locked as her eyes remained focus on the ground stalking a few feet behind Tommy on the journey towards the tunnel.

Only having to deal with a few badly handled balls by her defense a feat she chalked up to Schmidt whether her fault or not. By the time practice is called I just want to go check on Kristie, see if she's okay.  The stress of the previous day displayed in her eyes. Ambling towards the locker room Schmidt comes up to me. "Sorry about the comment. I didn't mean it like that. I hope you know that?"

Peering down on the toe head. "Don't let it happen again." It was cold, any other day she probably would've though twice before threatening a teammate. One too many bad teammate situations always left her throwing out an aggressive jab. This was the part of being a professional athlete that she hated, at least the steers never mocked her partner. She hated having to try and calculate how every word would land amongst her peers, having to think through every interaction to avoid the sour taste she normally left in other peoples mouths. 

Every night she dreamed of the farm. Out in the pines, the distant cry of a coyote, the hoot of an owl perched on a branch. She savored when she could get out there, to bail hay, load up the stock pens. It was an oasis. Away from the intersectionality of society just her and her land. 

Kristie was waiting in the locker room already showered and dressed. Head down, eyes buried in her phone furiously typing out a response. "Let me change." Was all I can utter outstretching the keys. Kristie takes them, nodding once before heading towards the door wordlessly. Dressing haphazardly, pulling jeans over bowed knees, snapping the pearls together, tapping all three pockets to make sure she had everything before following the path Kristie took earlier.  

Slipping into the drivers seat. "Everything is going wrong." Kristie stated dryly, eyes red from tears cried. I nod not knowing what to say. "My dad can't understand you. Tommy can't understand me. Shit I can't pass a ball more than 5 feet. Everything is wrong." Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes. 

"I don't know how to help right now." Thinking hard back to how Abi comforts people, trying to remember a key phrase or tactile gesture to help in this situation, Coming up with a blank I continue. " But I'm here for you. What ever ya know." Kristie nodded tears tracking down her checks. "Thanks." Raw and throaty pass through her lips as her buckle clips into place. Pulling from the parking lot harshly wiping at falling tears. Pulling around to the school to pick up Abi.

The day is spent with Kristie locked in their shared room on the phone with Sam. Abi bent over the kitchen table trying to solve a math equation that had more letters than numbers. I stretch across the couch, sports center played across the screen. Kristie didn't resurface for lunch or the dinner that subsequently followed. Abi sensing what was wrong offered to carry the portioned plate to the dark room. I let her, Kristie needed to know that we were here for her and if that meant having to step back and let Abi show I would. Abi was always better at the emotion stuff than I was. 

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luh chapter, trying to figure out how I want this book to end. Might actually get around to finishing it.

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