Spurs for Studs.

15

Sunday came a little too fast. Abi was still in the hospital as they just wanted to continue to monitor him. I dressed in the nicest jeans i had and a black shirt. I was back at the house for the first time since that night. We load up the truck with everyone at a quarter past 7. I drive us two towns over to the funeral home. They were having a private showing for us. Kristie was catching a ride to the funeral with Jimbo.

I let everyone look before i did. I knew they dressed up everyone at the funeral home but I couldn't stand to look at him. I knew once I saw him in the casket everything would be real. It would confirm that this wasn't some sick dream, but real life. "Go see him coal." My mother stated coldly not even meeting my eyes. I nodded and stepped towards the open door.

The room was too bright and too small. The casket pressed against the back wall. The sterile white walls caused my skin to crawl. With a shaking hand I place the dry, cracked hands i grip the polished oak. Luke lay peacefully with his hands draped lightly across his stomach. "What the fuck. I honestly hate you, man. Why did you have to die, i swear to God this makes you the biggest cunt on the planet." I mutter before placing a kiss on his forehead. "Now rest easy brother." I head from the room as the group of men who were responsible for moving him to enter the room.

Momma swipes under her eyes as i hand her my old handkerchief, we load in the truck and head towards the cemetary. Nothing plays on the radio, no one dears to break the silence. THe youngings were piled in the back of the pickup truck as we drove down the highway. Pulling into the parking lot of the cemetery i see Kristie and sam as well as Kelley huddling off near the pond. I break from the grou and stalk towards them. My hand wrdlessly clasping behind my back as i come within ear shot of the group. "Thank yall for coming out." i mumble stepping into the open space.

"I hope you don't mind me inviting them?"

"I dont. But really thank yall for taking time out of your scheudle to show up. It really means a lot."

"No problem. I Know we got off to rocky start but im here for you coal." Kelley states pulling me into a side hug. "But it looks like its set to rain."

"Of course it would rain. That fucking cunt."

"Excuse me?" sam breaks in.

"My brother, luke would alwasy no matter time or temp would stand on the porch with a cup of coffee to listen to the rain and he would say "Lord knows we need it." We could be having a monsoon and at the top of every hour he would say it again."

The group smiles, kristie takes my hand nad leads us to his grave where the men were carrying the casket. we stand on the outskirts of the crowd. Everyone went up and shared their words before I was called to the spot. I amble my way through the crowd before taking my spot next to the casket. "Umm.. I'm sorry. I wasn't really prepared for all this..." before I could contain a crack of thunder sounded through the fields as the rain started to shed in buckets. "Thank you all for coming and lord knows we need it, now I'm gonna let y'all get on with your day. Thank you again for coming out." Everyone runs towards their cars as I take a seat next to the casket.

I rest my head against the wooden box as the water poured down the small hill. My jeans was soaking and the water slipped off the back of my felt. "I hate you, I really do. Now I'm gonna need you to watch after momma for me. I don't think I can fix what I've done. I really messed up this time and now you aren't here to fix it. And I don't know why I'm doing anymore. So please keep raining, cause I know you're here and that's what I need man." I mumble as Kristie goes to sit down. I pull the pearls so from my back so her dress doesn't get to dirty before she takes her spot next to me.

"Well Luke it seems you won, I'll let you rest in a few minutes but you gotta promise me to look after the younglings and momma. Me and Abi gon high tail it outta here once she's good so I need you to make sure the rest stay well. Alrighty welp I'm gonna let you rest man, say hi to dad for me and make sure Abi doesn't do any dumb shit. Please brother." Kristie rubs my shoulder as I slap the casket twice.

"If you wanna stay we will. I have no where to be."

"You sure? I know it's raining and you did your hair and all that."

"I'm sure."

"Alright well let's get out of the way so they can get out of here."

I stand up before offering her my hand. The group comes over and lowers the casket before starting to cover box with sod. I find the group in the truck and toss momma the keys telling her I'd hitch a ride with someone else. She wordlessly grabs the keys from my outstretched palm lightly scratching my forearm with the unkept nails as she jammed the key into the ignition.

I find Sam and pull her into a hug thanking her for coming before doing the same as Kelley. "If you all don't mind I'm gonna head over to the river if you all don't want to come I can drop you all off at the hotel."

"I would like to come." They all agree with Kelley as Kelley tosses me the rental keys. We climb into the suv. I drive them to the hotel since it was on the way so they could change out of their nice clothes and steal a few towels. We then drive off towards the river. Everyone tried to call before I finally just shut off my phone. I couldn't deal with all of the empty apologizes and condolences.

"So Coal how's Abi doing?"

"She's doing well, they want to keep watching her, but once she's right I'm taking her with me to Houston. She's old enough to chose to live with me and I think getting her out of here will do her well. She's to smart to be left out here to run a farm."

"So she got all the brains?" Kelley ribs followed by a hard smack.

"Well yeah. She got all the book smarts but she couldn't find herself out of the rain."

"That's normally how it is." Kristie adds with a squeeze to my thigh. We pull up to the embankment and park.

"You aren't going to kill us are you?"

"No kelley, just swim." We walk down the path cut through the foliage until we stand on the bank where the water lapped our shoes. I strip from clothes down to my underwater before starting to Wade through the water. They all follow shortly after.

We all stand in the cool rushing water as the rain poured down on us. I just knew luke was laughing from his spot up there. The river brought me closure. The rushing water and tapping of the heavy rainfall just made this shitty day a little bit better. By the time we left the sun had long past set and we shivered with each rush of air from the A/C. I dropped off Sam and Kelley at their rooms before practically chasing Kristie down the hall.

The night ended with a bath and back scratches as she talked me to sleep. It was new and comfortable. It was what I needed.

I knew it wouldn't last but for right now it was what I needed and that was all I could ask for.

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Hopefully this makes sense.