memory wall

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i once placed your photos on my wardrobe,

my own small memory wall.


as i trace and outline your features in my mind,

your beauty and youth untouched by the hands of time

i ask myself - ''were you happy then?''


30 years have passed now,

sunspots glinting over your face

streaks of snow flowing through your black hair.


I now sit and stare

at our memories and my own youth

wondering if you ever loved the girl

who adored and worshiped you?


would you be happier if i never existed, mother?






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