No Explanations - ONC24

Chapter 11 - Don't Blame Me

"And, baby, for you I would fall from grace. Just to touch your face. If you walk away, I'd beg you on my knees to say." - Don't Blame Me, Taylor Swift

Echoes of her name inside my mind. I'm tired of hiding my obsession, I've come to the full realization that I want to love Arora. I would love her for anything in the world. I would die if that meant I could be with her.

Don't blame me, love made me crazy. If it doesn't you ain't doing it right. Luckily, I woke up just in time. I jumped up from my bed, the place I had gone after my conversation with Damian. Arora would be leaving for her own city this afternoon and I wouldn't let this chance go. Because I loved her, I couldn't deny that. And I could only hope she felt the same for me.

But I knew I only tried to make myself think she didn't want me. I had tried my best to set the illusion for myself that Arora only ever wanted one night. But she was the one that kissed me in the middle of the ballroom, she was the one who wore a sexy dress specifically for me to rip it off her body. She was the one who urged me to take her to my room, who urged me to have sex because she couldn't handle it anymore.

I quickly got my shoes and almost ran out of my room. Arora would be leaving about now, and I wouldn't want to miss her. I needed to be on time to tell her I loved her, and I would give up everything to have sex with her again.

So I flew downstairs, ran through the hallway when I spotted Arora and her family on the stairs in front of the palace. I opened the door to their carriage already waiting for them and Arora standing in front of her parents and sister, shouting at her parents.

"Look what you made me do!" she shouted. "I'm not your golden princess anymore, I changed. And I don't want to go with you if that means I won't be with Ebony ever again."

I didn't even hear what she said after that, I didn't hear what her parents responded. I only saw Arora, standing there, defending her love for me. The same thing I would want to do for her.

"Arora," I said and I threw myself in front of her.

"Ebony," she said.

"Arora I'm so sorry I left you this morning. I was out of my mind, I really want to make it right," I said. "Would you please - please - come with me?" I might have actually started to cry if she would say no.

"Come with you? To where?"

"I have no idea, anywhere I can talk with you," I said. "I need to talk with you."

Arora looked from me to her parents and back to me. "I will come with you," she said.

"Arora, what are you doing?" her parents tried, but Arora wasn't listening. She took my hand and I walked away with her. I didn't know where I was going, I only needed a place to quietly talk with Arora.

I chose the chapel in the gardens. I led Arora inside and closed the door behind me. "I don't really know where to start," I admitted to her.

"Start at the beginning," she suggested.

I nodded. "I've been breaking hearts for a long time and toying with some older guys. They're just playthings for me to use. But something happened for the first time, in the darkest little paradise," my hands were shaking, "I just need you."

Arora looked at me with those blue eyes I fell so hard for. "For you," she started, "I would cross the line. I would waste my time, I would lose my mind. They say 'she's gone too far this time.' But I don't think so, I think I'm just at the right place."

A smile broke through on my face. This was all I ever wanted, all I could ever hope for. "My name is whatever you decide," I said.

Arora smiled. "I'm just going to call you mine."

"I'm insane, but I'm your baby. I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy."

"Baby, for you I would fall from grace, just to touch your face."

"If you ever walk away, I would beg you on my knees to stay. Don't blame me, love made me crazy. If it doesn't, you ain't doing it right. Lord, save me, my drug is my baby, I'll be using it for the rest of my life."

"I love you, Ebony Keeling. I fucking love you. I want your midnights, your early mornings, late nights, cozy afternoons. I want you, your love, your mind, your body. I want you, with all your thorns and flowers."

I paused. That might be the most romantic thing I ever heard. "I also love you, Arora Aurum. I love your eyes as blue and the sky on the perfect summer day. You're golden like the sun, but you're worth more than all the gold in the world. I would spend the rest of eternity in hell if that meant I could be with you."

"We would have to defy many people if we want to be together, Ebony."

"But we're together, aren't we?" I asked. "That's all that ever mattered to me."

"Lord, save me, love made me crazy," Arora whispered as she laid her hands on my shoulders and put her forehead against mine.

"I get so high. Every time," I started, "every time you're loving me. It's the trip of my life, every time you're touching me. Every time you're loving me."

Arora stayed silent, watching my eyes as a tear began to form. She wiped it from my cheek. This was all I ever wanted, all I ever hoped for in the months I had loved Arora. She also loved me and I think I just realized that. How could I ever have convinced myself that she only wanted one night?

"Oh Lord, save me," Arora said. "My drug is my baby, I'll be using it for the rest of my life."

"For the rest of my life," I whispered. "Please, don't blame me, don't blame me."