he came like a whisper
left like a dream
nothing to prove he had ever been.
but the tears in the other boy's eyes
and his trembling lips
are the witness of his first kiss,
his first love,
and his very first heartbreak.
nothing felt good after that,
...
don't give up on love when it doesn't work out the first time close your eyes and trust that you gotta get low to get high;
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The cold weather offers Jungkook some reprieve as he tries to get a handle on his feelings. It's been weeks since he left Taehyung in the art room and he can't begin to explain how hard it's been. He is worn out both physically and emotionally.
It's been a roller coaster of emotions and Jungkook has been pulled in what feels like a thousand directions. From Jimin needing him, to helping Yoongi win him back. Jungkook seems to be doing a lot of things lately that he never thought he would do and helping Yoongi is one of them. In his defense, Yoongi had a damn speaker and burst into the cafeteria like John Cusack from Say Something. How was he supposed to say no to that? It was romantic and really corny all in one.
He thought Jimin was going to cave instantly, but he shocked the hell out of Jungkook when he walked away, leaving Yoongi kneeling on the floor in the cafeteria. Yoongi looked so devastated and Jungkook felt bad for him. He did all of that and proved he was serious about Jimin, so how could he not help him? It was right after his fallout with Taehyung, so he thought he atleast wanted someone to feel better considering how terrible he felt. It didn't take much convincing to get Jimin to give Yoongi another chance either, thankfully.
Jungkook was happy for them when they got back together. He is happy to know, despite all the bullshit, something good was able to come out of it. Too bad he can't say the same for himself. He wishes he could forgive Taehyung. He wanted to, and even though Jimin and Yoongi both have, Jungkook couldn't find it in himself to forgive him again.
Jimin is still adamant on his views about Taehyung and about how he is still on his shit-list despite having apologized, and Jungkook doesn't blame him. Taehyung has been on his for about three damn years now.
Sighing, Jungkook draws his knees up and rest his chin on them, his mind still wandering around the fact that he has finally ended things with Taehyung once and for all. Leaving him like that was the hardest thing Jungkook thinks he has ever done in his entire life. It was like leaving a piece of his soul behind, but it had to be done. He couldn't continue on the road they were on forever.
There was a time when he would have given anything to be with Taehyung, but not now. He needed to separate himself. It was the only option. He just wished it wasn't so damn heartbreaking.
He fell in love with Kim Taehyung way before he even realized that's what it was. The beautiful, kind boy with a heart of gold who'd have done anything for him. Jungkook lost him somewhere along the way. Probably when Seoyeon passed away. Their fucked-up circumstances ruined what could have been.
Jungkook still thinks about his nine-year-old terrified self and wonder how different things would have turned out if he could go back and warn himself off. Then he thinks about how lonely things would have been, how many things he would have missed out on, and decides that, regardless of the pain, he wouldn't change a thing.
