Chapter 10: even my daddy just loves him

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A/N: my first TTPD chapter title :,)

June 23, 1816 – In the wake of yesterday's lackluster ball, one can't help but lament the dreary fashion choices on display, particularly the Featheringtons' blinding ensembles in shades of yellow. Sadly, the absence of Lady Y/N Montclair was acutely felt, as her impeccable gowns and Parisian flair were sorely missed. However, tonight at the Ashbury ball proves a wonderful opportunity for her to dazzle us with her sense of style.

"Well, don't you look gorgeous tonight," gushed Eloise upon seeing you, kissing your cheeks in greeting.

Your heart soared, delighted that your best friend had taken to your French customs so easily.

"I didn't particularly have a choice after Whistledown's column today," you joked, smoothing out your skirts.

Of course, it was flattering to have the ton's most trusted source speak about you in such a positive manner, but at times it did build a fair amount of undue pressure. Though you supposed you preferred feeling pressure to dress well over pressure to marry someone as you had with Lord Barlow.

"Either way, you look stunning. I've caught more than a few gentlemen staring at you already. You'd think they would have been able to pick up their jaws off the floor by now," Eloise teased, linking arms with you, and leading you toward the far end of the ballroom.

You politely covered your laugh with your hand, shaking your head as you assessed who was present at the ball today. More accurately, you were assessing whether Colin Bridgerton was present.

It had been two weeks since you'd even seen him, and you were exerting more mental energy than you cared to admit pretending that you were unbothered. You supposed you couldn't blame him. You were the one who had asked him not to speak with you anymore, and he'd listened to you better than you could have hoped.

Secretly, you'd been hoping he would still have shown up and tried to talk to you. It was an absurd desire, you knew, but you couldn't help it. Apart from balls like these where all you did was speak with Eloise, you had to admit that arguing with Colin was the most fun you'd had in England, and perhaps everywhere else, too.

You hated him, you reminded yourself. And he hated you, too. Worse, actually. He had no respect for you. Or any woman in general. Which only brought you back to the shameful burning at the top of your ears every time you searched for him in a crowd.

But you were only human. And there were times when you couldn't help but give in to your self-sabotaging. "Is the rest of your family in attendance tonight?" you asked Eloise, trying to seem casual and uninterested.

"Anthony and Kate are," she responded brightly. "Benedict was able to weasel his way out of this one, I'm afraid. But it's all for the better. He was being quite irritating at dinner last night."

You turned to her, eyebrows raised. "I assumed you'd stay home if Benedict stayed home, too. I thought you hated these things."

"Oh, not at all! Now that you aren't being swarmed by suitors at every moment and I have you somewhat to myself, the balls are far more enjoyable."

Shaking your head at her fondly, you laughed in disbelief. She was truly the only reason you hadn't gone completely mad these past two weeks.

Lady Whistledown, whoever she was, had proven to be quite perceptive. As she had reported, you effectively had laid your parents' dreams of marrying you off to an Englishman to rest. You'd only told Pen and Eloise about your disillusionment, but you supposed it was rather obvious to everyone else given that you barely danced with anyone anymore.

You looked through the crowd once again searching for the face you knew would not be there, and you felt your gut twist, but you couldn't quite tell if it was in relief or disappointment.

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