last one to love me - a jude bellingham story

flashback 2

➪ playing on my feelings - tyde, bleu

☙ꨄ☆ꨄ❧

Amari's pov:

After the England game against Brasil:

"Wow. Okay, now that was just disrespectful. What the fuck is wrong with you?", I yell after him but he doesn't seem to hear me.
"Amari, I'm sorry for h-", Jobe starts.
"Nah, save your apology for someone else. I'm going inside. Don't stop me. See you later", I interrupt him before I start walking away from them.

God, I can't believe I thought it was a good idea to try to talk to him after the match. As if being dry with his texts wasn't enough he had to fucking ignore me? Before I can even finish my sentence he just cuts me off and walks away without even sparing me a look. Like who does that?

After walking through the tunnel I try to find my way upstairs somehow. Due to me not exactly looking where I'm going I bump into someone as I walk around a random corner.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you coming", the guy in front of me apologizes and I can hear a strong accent in his voice that is definitely not English.

As look him up and down I realize he must be one of the Brasil players since he's wearing a Brasil kit. Right now I just can't find his name in my mind.
"It's okay, I'm fine", I reply quickly.
"Wait, do I know you?", he questions.
"I don't think so. I have go now though, so good game and goodbye."
With that I just rush past him and make my way further into the stadium.

———

Jude's pov:

God, I feel horrible for just rushing away without giving Amari a chance to talk to me. I just don't know how to face her. I thought it would be easier if I just text her less and less so our contact would just slip away eventually, I guess. But when I saw her a few minutes ago I panicked. I can't keep building a relationship with her but also can't tell her why the one we currently have can't exist anymore. I know I'm being a dick by ignoring her like this. I don't know what else to do though.

After a while my teammates and I make our way back inside the stadium again. Since I promised Vini that we'd swap shirts I instantly try to find him before I get to the changing room. Fortunately it doesn't take me long and I'm soon met with a smug look on his face.

"It's just a friendly, you know. It doesn't matter that you won", I say after giving him a quick hug.
"I don't care. A win is a win", he shrugs before he hands me his shirt from the game and I give him mine.
"By the way, I think I just ran into that Amari girl that you fancy and have been talking about for weeks", he tells me, "Do you know if she's really here or am I just being delusional?"

"Yeah, it was her. I saw her not long ago", I reply.
"Okay, but why don't you seem happy about it? I thought you like her."
"Things aren't working out between us", I lie.
"Oh, well, I'm sorry, mate", he says and pads me on the shoulder.

We continue to talk for a bit before we say goodbye to each other and make our way back to the changing rooms. I don't like that I have to lie to Vini and everyone else that I care about. But it's not like I have a choice or something. It still feels crazy that I'm getting fucking blackmailed. I just hope everything works out and I don't have to be in a fake relationship forever.

———

About three weeks later:

Amari's pov:

It's been now about three weeks since I last saw Jude at the England game and it's still really weird between us. The day after that match he actually texted me and apologized for being a dick. However, it was a pretty poor apology and he just came up with some lame excuses why he brushed me off so fast.