A Life Remembered (Hard Time Series-Book 7)

Friday Nights Part III

STEF POV

"I'm proud of you for winning that award, my love." I say to Baby Stef as I take a seat beside her on her bed.

Running my fingers through her very long hair, she looks up at me and I see the forced smile she tries to make. I knew she had been crying no matter how much she tried to deny it earlier, saying she had allergies. She knew me better than that, but I'd give her a minute to come clean. Even if I had my suspicions.

"I just wanted to tell you that, baby girl. I know I told you the day you got that award, but it's important for me to make sure you know how proud me and Nana Lion are of you. You worked very hard, and you came a long way in school, my girl. We both know being a year older isn't easy, babe. But you never let it stop you, and you have never given up. Not once."

"Thank you Yaya." She says and I gently stroke her cheek and move a tad closer to her.

"What's the matter? Mm? I know it's not allergies that have you crying and sniffling. I wasn't born yesterday, my girl. I mean, you should know that." I say and she gets up now, staring out of her window. Turning back around, she looks right at me with uncertainty and confusion, and I know all too well what it was about.

"Talk to me, sweets. I know you spoke to Nana Lion. Mm?"

"Yeah, it's just, what's in LA, Yaya? What would she go there for?"

"Well, I think she's looking for a new place to start over, baby. As she said in her letter to all of us."

"Has she ever heard of skid row?" She asks and I clear my throat, nodding my head. "That place is a shit show. It's like asking to relapse."

"Yeah, but you can relapse anywhere, baby. Are some places more tempting, maybe? But if you want it, ya'll find it."

"I don't know why I care. She's so good at leaving, like that's all she does. All she does is leave, Yaya. Yeah, she said sorry in her letter and all but, I'm still mad." She crosses her arms in frustration and I nod.

"It's natural to be mad, honey. You are entitled to your feelings, and none of this has been easy. Not one bit of it. And it's okay to feel how you feel, sweetheart."

"I don't trust this. Not one second do I trust it. How do we really know she's taking her medication and won't be off her fucking rocker again and blame you and Nana Lion for everything under the sun being wrong and her life going down the drain? How do we know she won't end up with another Chuckie Fuck? How do we?" she spits out as I see Lena walk into the room and take a seat beside me.

"Come here, honey. Come sit beside us." I say as Baby Stef walks over to us and sits right between us. I grab her hand and hold it and look over at Lena, who I can see it troubled. And I knew why, of course. Gently cupping my granddaughter's cheek, she looks up at me, tears rolling down her face.

"Look, I know I'm to blame for that mouth of yours, okay? I get that. And like Nana Lion said before, you are hell sure entitled to all your feelings, baby. Every single one of them. You don't have to believe it. You don't. You are allowed to have doubts. You are allowed to not have faith in her. We'd never ask you or force you to feel a certain way. Ever."

"You have faith, Yaya?" She asks and I look over at Lena, who smiles at me softly.

"I don't know babe.I um... your Yaya struggles. I want to. And I pray on it. But maybe some days I have more than other days." I say, grabbing her hand and holding it as she turns to look at Lena.

"Do you Nana Lion? You do?"

"I struggle to, honey. That's me being honest, but most days I have faith that your mom wants to do better, baby. When I speak to her, she sounds well. She's on her medication, she's working, and she's writing music. Does she live in a good area? No. She does not. But I believe she's trying. I really do, honey, and she does ask about you. She asks about everyone."