November 2023 / ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ❆\
Aika's fingers danced on her laptop keyboard. The strains of songs accompany every keyboard stroke. Arranging word by word into a sentence, and forming a paragraph. Then, her hand stopped. From the reflection of her glasses, she could see that almost a page had been written.
"No, this is strange," muttered Gouto Aika, pressing the delete button firmly. Aika tries to write a novel retelling the story of Princess Kaguya. A young woman who dreams of returning to the moon with the help of three princes. Only this draft was considered by the editors, but a madman asked Aika to remove the Princess's stubborn side, so that her character would be more "delicate," he said. She felt like stuffing draft paper into that guy's thin mouth like a hot red worm when he smiled that disgusting smile.
A long sigh came out of the girl's mouth. Her hand reached for her hairpin which had become loose, her dark black hair was left hanging down from her work chair. In the past, Aika wouldn't let her hair go past her shoulders, now Aika feels like she wants to take scissors and cut it as short as possible. In reality, the hairstylist who wanted to take the time to come to where he lives to cut his hair has not been able to come since three years ago.
If only I had the courage to go to the salon alone without shaking and wanting to vomit. It had been three years since Aika had gone out alone without being accompanied by someone she trusted. Remembering that she couldn't go anywhere, Mother's words rang again. You lack the effort to fight your fears.
From her hair to her fears, everything is bound to be a difference of opinion with her mother. Comments filled with disappointment from the woman who brought her into this world have become Aika's snacks since childhood. Her mother wanted Aika to come with her to accompany her father's work to accompany diplomats in Europe. However, little Aika decided to stay in Japan. That was the first time Aika saw Mother's disappointed face.
Then about her hair. According to her, a woman's hair should be long, not short like a man's. She didn't listen to such bigoted advice. Ever since she enrolled in college, Aika hairstyle has always been a short one, her ears now are numb to her mother's scolding.
What Aika cannot never forget is what Mother said about her fears; You lack the effort to fight it. She grabbed a small pillow that was meant to support her bum, and threw it away against the wall.
Talk like that if you see that I'm not coming to consultation and therapy! Once Aika tried alone to go to the 24-hour shop at her old place. His head felt like it was floating on the side of the road seeing lots of people.
In the end, he had to be helped by his best friend back to his apartment. Mother also doesn't know that every day Aika tries to take selfies without shaking, for she won't be afraid of the camera anymore. In Aika's words, Mother is only able to comment without providing any meaningful help.
Aika tried to divert her thoughts. She adjusted her red glasses and looked tiredly at the blank white screen that should have been fully in words and sentences from several hours ago. Head is shaken to the right, left, front and back. Hoping an idea comes out like the top prize marble coming out of a lottery machine.
Gently massage the forehead which feels very tight. Her soul felt like only in the tip of her crown of the head. Her eyes looked at the right corner of the laptop screen. Aika realised that since the afternoon she had only been staring at the screen until the evening. At least I have one page of draft, so I wouldn't get scolded by Watanabe. Remembering the editor didn't cause a eureka moment, rather made Aika's block on the brain worsen. She could not send this rubbish.
YOU ARE READING
Even Death Doesn't Apart Us (English Version)
RomanceGouto Aika, a young writer living not only with two but three identities. Lives in secrecy to protect herself. Because of a stalker that ruined her life years ago by taking away her freedom and separating from things she loved. Especially her dear a...