WAKE ME UP

CHAPTER 8

"This has nothing to do with us, and everyone knows it," Prue says.

I've stopped by the 7-Eleven. Prue is always there for me, and I couldn't think of anywhere else to go. Or anywhere else I'd rather be.

The sleeping and dying around the world is getting worse. No one's debating it any longer. You sleep, you die.

"Of course, it doesn't have anything to do with you," I tell Prue. But she isn't listening.

"People are looking for a scapegoat, and we're an easy target," she continues to rant. "But they're just afraid to look in the mirror. I'm not the danger. This is all human – it's all on you. This is your failure. You've done it to yourself. And I can't say – I won't say – I have any sympathy."

I've never seen her like this. She's usually chill. But today, she's not holding back. Today, she's full of rage.

I admit I sometimes forget. Prue is my friend, and I think she's amazing. And she bleeds, and she eats, and she feels, just like me. She even crawls into bed at night and shuts her eyes for a few hours, but she's not really sleeping. I mean, sleep-sleeping. It's just computer-sleeping. I sometimes forget. Prue is an android.

Yet why should that matter? I tell her it shouldn't – it doesn't to me – and she softens and says: "I wasn't talking about you specifically. But you know what I mean." And I do.

I also know that if they don't figure this out soon the human species will die off, and the planet will be inhabited solely by androids. Just like they've always predicted in all those dystopian movies. But it won't be because the robots rose up and killed us – like the story always goes. Prue is right. It won't be at her hands. It'll be at ours. We're to blame. We fell asleep.

I stay all night at the 7-Eleven with Prue. I keep getting tired and popping more Ritalin. My mom has plenty.

Prue and I talk about everything, like we always do. But tonight feels different – because it is.

Prue is no longer ranting. In fact, she's listening to me with so much compassion, something she said she didn't have for my kind, but I think it was all just in the heat of the moment. I appreciate her friendship more than ever.

Prue is letting me do a bit of ranting myself now. But after a while, she cuts me off. She says she refuses to let me waste what could be the last day or so of my life – or however long I can stay awake – fretting about the end. She thinks I should try to live as much life as I can, while I can, before I fall asleep. And she suggests I make one of those bucket lists of everything I want to do most.

You would think this would be easy, but I'm stumped. I don't know where to start. Maybe I think it would be too long a list, which would be depressing to see all written out. Or maybe I literally can't think of a single thing, which is also super depressing.

Prue doesn't buy my excuses. She's convinced I know exactly what I want to do. And when she says this, I realize she's right. Again, not to make it all about a guy because it's not. It's about me, and how I feel, and what I shared with another person.

Someone to save the planet with. Or, if that's not an option, someone to die with.

All I want to do before I sleep is tell Ben I still love him. Not with desperation or any sort of please-love-me-back brokenness like last time. That would be a waste and a shame.

I want to tell him I love him without apology. And also, if possible, I want to make him laugh.