WAKE ME UP

CHAPTER 17

Day 3.

I've been careful with the Ritalin. I've taken two, which leaves me with three.

We're almost to Canada, and we pull into the last rest stop on this side of the border. I run in to get a few things. When I get back to the car, Ben has closed his eyes. If I didn't know he was an android, I would swear he was sleeping, really sleeping. I watch him for a moment.

He finally opens his eyes, catching me. I don't look away.

We quickly return to the road. We hit the border a few minutes later. I've never been to Canada, but I can't imagine this is how it usually is. There's no one manning the border crossing, and we pass through, from one country to another, without slowing down.

There's no sign of snow, but we're on our way.

Ben finally asks me what I was thinking about when I was watching him with his eyes closed back at the rest stop.

"I was thinking about sleep," I tell him, not wanting to lie. "I was thinking what a miracle sleeping and waking are."

Ben considers this a moment. "Sleeping and waking feel like a miracle to me, too," he finally says. "But do you think that's possible? Do you think what I feel is real?"

He's so worried it's not.

"I think you feel what you feel," I say.

"I mean, I close my eyes, and I rest," he continues to explain. "And when I open them again, I feel better. I always feel better."

He throws a glance in my direction. "Especially waking up to you."

It doesn't matter whether Ben is an android or not. He's Ben. He's the only Ben there is now, and he feels enough for the both of them. A sentient being is a sentient being, human or android.

"I like your hair," I tell him after a long silence. "It's blue."

He laughs. It's big and loud, and it wraps around me.

"I know. I dyed it that way," he says, still laughing.