𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 || 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐳 𝐱 𝐌𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭

𝟭𝟳. | 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧

3 months later

I push my way through the crowd, keeping my head low and my cap pulled down over my eyes. My big sunglasses and unshaved beard just add to my disguise and so far no one seems to care for me. I easily could have gotten VIP tickets but no one here has seen me in months and I plan to keep it that way. At least for now. The last thing I need is to be recognized. My heart pounds with a mix of nerves and anxiety as I find my seat in the stadium, trying to blend in with the loud sea of fans. I keep my eyes on the pitch, watching every move, every pass, but it is impossible to ignore the tension in my chest. I still don't know what brought me here today but when I see him on the field I get a sneaky suspicion of who might be the reason my subconscious told me to come here. I take a seat, my left leg nervously bouncing up and down while I pull my cap covering my face even lower. This is stupid. I'm stupid. I should leave again.

Kai scores and the stadium erupts. He celebrates with the fans, his smile wide and genuine and then he looks up towards the stands. Logically, I know that he can't see me, but I swear his eyes are locking with just mine, like I am the only person in the entire stadium. As Kai's eyes seem to linger on mine, a jolt of emotion rushes through my body. The loud stadium is a blur of noise and movement, but all I can focus on is him. Seeing him this happy almost makes me want to throw up since I know I am the reason he wasn't for a really long time. But he was right. I needed help, still do, and him leaving me three months ago was the only way to shake me out of my bubble I was living in. A perfect bubble with Kai and no one else inside, a world of problems surrounding but never getting to us. I would have continued to act like everything is fine. Kai would have continued to protect me and everyone else except himself just like he always does. But that night he did both of us a favour even if it still hurts. I will never forget the way my heart stopped beating when he closed the door behind him and never came back while the feeling of his lips on my head still lingered on my skin.

The game is over. Everyone jumps out of their seats. I didn't leave early like I planned but my eyes are still fixated on the field. Kai walks over to his teammates. His flushed cheeks and dimples are the only things I can focus on while he runs his fingers through his dark and wet curls. Kai whispers something into his opponent's ear when Kepa jumps onto his back from behind not even startling the tall German who holds his weight like it is nothing. A nervous feeling starts to grow in the pit of my stomach. The goalkeeper continues to hug Kai from behind, placing his head on the younger one's shoulder. I should be on that field. I should be wrapping my arms around Kai's torso while asking him if he'll stop by at my place later that night even though we would both already know the answer to that question. Jealousy continues to race inside my head and heart. I know how close Kai is to everyone of his teammates including me so I try not to interpret too much into the situation but then Kepa presses a kiss onto his cheek longer than needed before leaving the field and my mind starts going places I don't want it to go.
Reality snaps back quickly. I can't stay here any longer. I weave through the rows of excited fans, dodging the outstretched arms of people celebrating and make my way toward the exit. My pulse is racing, but I try to stay calm, to move casually, even as the urge to break into a run grips me. I can't afford to draw any attention to myself.

I am almost at the exit, finally free of the buzzing energy inside the stadium, when I feel a hand clamp down on my shoulder. My heart stops. For a split second, a wild hope flares in me. What if it is Kai? But as I turn around, the hope dies as quickly as it has sparked. Standing behind me is a man with a sly grin, a camera slung around his neck and the unmistakable look of someone who has just found his next big story.
"Mason, right?" the reporter asks as if he doesn't know, already reaching for his camera. "What a surprise to see you here. Care to comment on why you're watching today's game?"
Panic flares in my chest. I force a smile, trying to keep my voice steady. "I- I just missed being in the stadium. I come a lot." I lie.
But I can see the glint in his eyes. He isn't going to let this go easily. I can already see the headlines in my mind: "Mason Mount spotted for the first time in three months after disappearing with no warning — reconciliation in the works?" or worse, something that would dig into my past, drag it back into the spotlight. The club doesn't need that, and frankly, neither do I. I shrug his hand off my shoulder and push past him, heading for the exit with quickened steps. The last thing I see before I turn the corner is the flash of his camera. Fuck.

I move faster now, stumbling over my own feet as I finally slip out of the stadium and into the cool night air. My heart is hammering in my chest, adrenaline flooding my system. I know the damage is done. It won't take long for those photos to start circulating online. I just have to hope that somehow, it won't blow up the way I fear it will.
An hour later I'm finally in front of my house searching for my keys when I feel my phone buzzing in my right pocket. I don't need to check it to know what it is. I open the door and walk straight towards the sofa slumming my weak body onto it before hiding my face in a pillow. I slowly reach for my phone and even though I know it is coming, it doesn't stop the sinking feeling in my gut when I see Kai's name on the screen. I open our chat ignoring all his previous messages to which I never responded.

𝗞𝗮𝗶 ☀️

"Saw the photos.
Is everything okay? What were
you doing at the game?" 23:18 ✔️✔️

I stare at the message. The anxiety that has been bubbling under the surface now roars to life. This is exactly what I was so afraid off. I didn't want him to know. I didn't want him to reach out again. But I fucked up by being selfish in going to the game today. I just had to see him, not just on a screen like I have for the last couple of months. I had looked at the pictures I took of him and his instagram account more than I would like to admit. I take a deep breath, trying to steady my thoughts before replying. But how can I even begin to explain?
I finally type out a reply, my fingers hovering over the screen for a moment before I hit send.

𝗞𝗮𝗶 ☀️

"I didn't mean for this
to happen. I don't know
what to say. I'm sorry,
I'll handle it." 23:29 ✔️✔️

The response comes almost immediately.

"Can we talk? In person."
23:30 ✔️✔️

I swallow hard. Of course Kai wants to talk. He's been wanting to talk ever since I vanished without telling anyone. There is no avoiding this now. I feel the weight of the situation pressing down on me, the familiar tension of having to talk about something important. This is about Kai, about us, and I need to find a way to fix this before it spirals out of control.
If Kai wants to talk, then I will have to face him. I can't shake the uneasy feeling that things are about to get a lot more complicated.
And I'm not sure if I am ready for what is coming next.

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