Raspberry Reviews

Rosegold || @vinculi

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REVIEWER: vinculi

Rosegold by Tanu_ambia

Title & Cover - 7/10

I like your title and how it links back to the protagonist's name. It doesn't tell you much about the story, but I think it fits well. As for the cover, it's simple but it does the job. Could be more eye-catching but it does a good job of expressing the genre of the book and will probably attract the right kinds of readers.

Blurb - 5/5

Your blurb is great. It's on the longer side but not too long and it doesn't give away too much of the story while giving potential readers just the right amount of information to hook them before they even open the first chapter.

Writing Style & Story Flow - 7/10

Your writing flows very well which makes for a very smooth reading experience. Not to mention it's very descriptive which I really like because it makes it easy to visualise each scene as though you're watching it play out in front of you. Your wording and vocabulary are perfect for the genre and keeps the mood gritty, dark and mysterious which only adds to the visualisation and overall tone. The scene and location transitions, at least in the chapters I read, were also very smooth and never disrupted the story flow, which is something a lot of writers, myself included, often struggle with.

Switching the P.O.V between Rose and Robin was executed well and added a lot more depth to the story, letting the reader see behind the curtain so to speak to learn more about both characters rather than keeping them completely in the dark about Robin which was an interesting way to write things. It was especially a surprise that Rose knew what Robin was doing but hadn't gone to the police and didn't seem to mind having her around. It made me wonder why she wasn't doing anything. Was she just afraid or was there something more to it? All questions I'm sure will grip any reader and have them hooked from the start. Using third person was also a great choice because it lets you, the narrator, withhold certain information rather than spilling all the beans with a first-person narrative.

There were a couple of lines of dialogue that lost me. For example: 'You pissed him.' which I think is supposed to be 'You pissed him off.'? That was a little oddly worded but I'm assuming it's just a typo so nothing to worry about and just something to fix with some minor editing.

Grammar & Punctuation – 7.5/10

I only caught a couple of minor grammatical mistakes, other than those it was almost flawless. For example: 'The boy looked worried, "It won't take long. It's about your upcoming web series."' This should have a full stop instead of a comma because it is an action tag, not a dialogue tag. This happened quite a few times but it's a pretty small thing and easy enough to fix when editing through.

Another one is that some action tags in the middle of dialogue have a capital as though they're the start of a new sentence. For example: '"Well, you look like," He gestured to her, "You were in a ball or something. Enjoying the night?"' Here, 'He' should all be in lowercase because it is still a part of the same sentence, just outside of the dialogue.

There are also some longer sentences I think would work better broken into a couple of shorter sentences rather than splitting at the comma but that's more personal preference than an actual mistake.

Plot - 9/10

The plot is so intriguing and unique! It isn't often that you find books like this on Wattpad, so I really enjoyed it. As I said earlier, it's written very well with good descriptive language while remaining mysterious and keeping you asking for more. Everything about it is interesting and gripping, having you constantly asking questions and theorising things as you wonder what's going to happen next. I wasn't expecting the main characters to be in an established relationship kind of thing from the beginning which was an interesting twist to things, and it really upped the stakes from the get-go even though you might think it would do otherwise and that there would be more mystery and danger if they were strangers.

Character Development & Worldbuilding - 18/20

The main characters are unique and introduced very well, I wanted to know more about them from the moment they were first introduced on the page which made me want to keep reading to learn more about them. As I said before about the dual point of view in this story, it is an excellent way to let the reader learn more about both main characters to understand them better. Learning more about their lives, their personalities, their thoughts and feelings as well as their motives and drives as the story moves on. The worldbuilding is effortless. You capture the world of fame very well and do a great job of blending in the ups and downs of being a celebrity. The world feels lived in and dark, the perfect setting for a story like this, and the tone is consistent which is something that can be difficult to do.

Overview, Total – 53.5/65

Overall, I enjoyed reading this. The writing is good, as are the characters and the plot, and the writing style is unique and holds a consistent tone. I loved the descriptions, characterisation and overall mystery of the story which had me constantly guessing and asking for more. With some minor editing to fix a few mistakes, it will be a very polished and entertaining story which I encourage anyone who is a fan of this genre to read. 

~ Vincent.

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