"You Can't Fix Me If Your Just As Fucked." Karlnap Angst

5. get better

☆sapnap POV:☆

I wake up, feeling a small weight on my chest.

Karl's head is on my chest.

His arm is slightly under me.

Remembering last night, I hope I didn't hurt him taking his arm like that.

I don't wanna wake him up though, so I won't move.

It's not like we're missing school, I showed up mid week so it's already Saturday, yesterday was Friday.

I look down at him, running my hands through his hair.

I watch him start to stir, "Mm-?" He slowly opens his eyes and looks at me "fuck- were late for sch-" he goes to get up quickly, rolling off of me and finally getting his arm out.

"Karl-"

"Fuck my mom's gonna be pissed if they call her-"

"Karl-"

"I shouldn't have-"

"Karl."

He finally looks at me

"It's saturday."

His cheeks flush

"Oh."

I smile

"Are you hungry? I can head to my house and get something for you to eat."

"No, I'm fine- if you're hungry, though, I can just get something delivered so you don't have to leave or anything."

He sat back down on the bed, looking at me.

"You can only get something delivered if you eat too, sap."

"Ill get something for later, but seriously, I'm not hungry."

"Ill make sure you eat it, so don't try to just throw it away or something."

"I won't, don't worry."

When did I become such an easy liar?

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I walked back into the room, holding the bag of fast food.

"Here ya go" I said, placing down the bag.

"What'd you get? So we can just go put it in the fridge or something so it doesn't go bad."

"The apple slices, just go ahead and hand them to me."

"Apple slices?? You said you got a meal."

"Apple slices can be a meal if theres enough of them-"

"We both know that's a lie."

We just stare at each other for a second

Karl finally just hands me the Apple slices

"You can eat an actual meal later, right now just eat those." He says, not really looking at me.

"I used to have it too."

"Huh?" I respond.

"Anorexia. I got better because of one of my old friends but- I had it."

I look at him for a second.

"I-" I'm a liar. "I don't have anorexia karl, I'm glad you were able to overcome yours though-"

"Are you that dumb sap- I've literally had it why do you think you can lie and say you don't, I'm not stupid."

"Please karl." I don't know what I'm begging for, yet I am.

He just looks at me

"I want to help you sapnap."

"What if I don't want help? I'm fine with this. I'm happy with this."

"Are you really? Or do you just not remember what it feels like to be truly happy?"

I simply stare at him for a second

"I need a cigarette."

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☆Karl POV:☆

Once sapnap left, i just stared at the place in the door he used to be.

Fuck.

I barley know him- why was I pushing?

I roll up my sleeve, to look at the damage from last night, it felt like it should be bleeding, but I don't know if it did.

Looking at my arm, there's for sure dried smeared blood on it.

I sigh, getting up to find his restroom.

After finding like 2 doors that weren't to the restroom, I finally find it and shut the door behind me, looking into the mirror.

My eyebags are almost gone, since I slept better than usual last night, that's good.

I take some a tissue and wet it, wringing out the extra water.

Once I'm done with that, I wipe down my arm, a slight sting from the cuts, but not bad.

I toss the tissue in the toilet and flush it, leaving to go downstairs and find sapnap.

I step out the front door, low and behold sapnap sitting with his knees to his chest, smoking a cigarette.

"Have you ever tried to quit?"

He looks up at me, a surprised look on his face, I don't think he knew I was there.

"Yeah, didn't work well, I was just mean. I decided its better for everyone if I just keep doing it."

"This summer, when the stress of school is gone, which is only around a month away, you should try to quit."

"Karl-"

"Your parents won't be there, i will be, and I'll understand."

"First off, you probably won't understand-"

"My mom's tried to quit before, you can't be worse than her."

"How bad was she?"

I don't respond for a second, designing a fake version of the story.

"Once she got so upset she was simply doing the dishes and ended up throwing one of the glass plates at me, she missed by a inch, thankfully. She immediately apologized too, but still."

The reality is I was doing the dishes, and I wasn't 'fast enough' for her, and she came over and slammed a plate over my head.

I'm pretty sure I got a concussion.

"I don't think I'd be that bad- but still. I get angry easy enough as it is, there's no point in quitting. Also how do you know you'll even be there? We've known each other for what-? 3...? 4 days...?"

"Well I don't think I'll be leaving, I don't really have any friends but you, and from what I've seen, I'm one of the only friends you've made, besides small talk with quackity."

"I think you'd like quackity, I think we could all be friends."

"Then maybe he could help you too."

"I dunno, I don't think quackity would be the best at that, m' pretty sure hes a drug addict."

Oh.

"What type of drugs..?"

"Nothing big, I'm pretty sure only weed really."

I guess just weeds better than my mom.

"Well he shouldn't stop you from getting better even if he doesn't want to."

"How are you so sure I want to 'get better'?"

☆1009 words☆