Last boy I Loved

Chapter 1

Callie Lee

Would you rather take the risk or lose the chance ? do we really regret the chances we didn't take ?

Was there even a chance at all?

That's the thoughts I've been thinking for awhile now but I definitely agree sometimes we tend to regret that we didn't take the risk and sometimes we regret that we did too

But me ? i will rather talk about you in my journal than actually telling you how i feel

As i stare at him with a genuine smile on his face i felt a sting in my heart it's the feeling when you like someone so much but you can't tell them

You're like a daylight that is so beautiful but i know that i can only admire  from afar

" okay I'm done ordering what do you want callie ? " My friend loise asks

" Oh nothing I'm full " i said

" Are you sure ? "

" yeah " i said as i look at him again

" i knew it " Loise said as she teases me
" i knew you haven't moved on from him " She laughs

" oh please I'm only staring at him to make myself realize why did i even had a crush on him " i deny i know why I can't take my eyes off him

We always used to make an eye contact now it's just me looking at you

After our break time for twenty minutes we decided to go back to our classroom since our teacher gives detention for those who comes late

" Okay class ! we will be having an experiment by tomorrow so please prepare this— " Our science teacher said  i roll my eyes in annoyance I miss my old science teacher our teacher this school year is barely even teaching us something yet keeps on letting us do all of these experiments

"Do your little eyeroll when i can't see it callie" she said

" sure "

" You can't even improve your grades yet you still have the confidence to talk back ?  " She said . I didn't add another word since I don't want her to scold all of us again for it i don't have the ears for it today

After a few hours of class it's already our dismissal I didn't really hang out with my friends after class since I don't have the energy
I walk straight to my room threw my backpack aside then  lay in my bed staring at the ceiling

I've been thinking a lot of things lately i mean I'm an overthinker so I always do that

I opened my phone scrolled through a specific memory and then i saw a picture of me with him from last school year

Sometimes it made me think that maybe somehow your smiles was genuine

Can you miss a person who was never yours to begin with ?

I played a video where when my classmate and teacher were teasing us and how he looked at me and smiled

Now he would never even land his eyes on me and if I caught him it was by accident and then he would look  like he regretted looking in another direction where i was in

We always have someone who will mean everything to us but we are a nothing to them
And as much as it hurts it how it really works sometimes

Sometimes we also look back at those old times and thought " if i said something would it be different? " and that thought lingers on us

Me choosing to never express what i feel towards the person i care about is one of my biggest what if's and i hope i did .

*

I didn't even realize i fell asleep and now it's already five a.m I usually get up around five thirty .

I flicked the light on and tied my hair up
I walk towards our kitchen just to see my mom laying on the couch probably drunk

I walk towards her as i wake her up
" mom " i patted her " mom wake up you so you can sleep in your room " she opens her eyes as she slowly sits " You're still up this late ? " she asks

" Mom it's five a.m that's the time i always wake up " I said

She didn't said anything as she goes to her room . Growing up in a household where people drinking alcohol and getting drunk even if there's a child around made me curious about it when i was just six years old and now I'm also an alcoholic and I'm just sixteen

I usually goe to parties a lot during weekends
I'm trying to do better though

I poured myself a water as i wait for the time to click at five thirty I opened my phone reading some messages and announcements from our school group chat

announcement from a few hours ago

To those students who's interested to join football or basketball please message me so i can write your names for the try out

Right this is the month of the student athletes
also I'm probably not gonna watch the basketball game since my crush doesn't go here anymore i mean he was pretty good with it if I'm gonna be honest he was the only reason I'm watching the game in the first place

As the time clicks in i start getting ready right away my dad said his gonna pick me up but he usually arrives late

Time just flies and I'm already in sophomore year then by next two years I'll be in college hopefully in another city

The car honks as i ran outside i sat on the passenger seat as my dad asks me about school

*

" bye dad " i said

" listen to your teacher okay "

That made me look like a middle schooler

I have history class in first subject great i don't like the teacher

" I heard clyde is gonna join the try out for the football team " bree greets

" Good for him " i act uninterested

I didn't even know his into sports last school year he was more of a guitar and skater guy

Last school year was so fresh to me it was the time i just met him and developed an admiration or what we call crush is it weird that if i say every time we make eye contact i felt a spark ? but now if we do sometimes i don't

He changed so much from last school year his looks , his style and a little bit of the way he acts also lately his kind of a topic in our grade

I always knew they they will admire you and I can't blame them

•

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hello a short chap ! see u on the next update;)

callie's lowkey delulu ( same ) HAAHA

-sev