The Way I Loved You

Maya

I don't know exactly when or why, but I start crying in Lucas's arms. We stay like this for about an hour. Me , curled up on his lap, my head buried in his shirt. His arms around me, holding me close. He strokes my hair, and occasionally kisses the top of my head. "It's okay Maya. Every thing will be alright. He says it's so calmly, and I really want to believe him. But it would still crush Riley. Sure, Topanga knows. She could maybe help her through the pain. But I can't do that to her. I can't break her, like I've been broken.

 But what about Lucas? He deserves so much better than me. I'm nothing but trouble, and within the two hours we've been together, I got beat up, and he did too. Not as bad as me, but still. I need to leave. I can't hurt them any more. Riley, my best friend, or Lucas, my possible boyfriend. I need to run away. As much as it would kill me, they need to be together without me interrupting them. 

I look over to the clock. 4:03 a.m. "Thank you." I say to Lucas. He looks curious like he doesn't know what for. "For saving me." I add. He nods. "Any time. I love you, you know. More than anything." He kisses my head, running his hands through my hair. "I love you too. Know that no matter what happens, I will always love you." I say. He smiles, and lays down with me in his arms. We stay like this for a while, till Lucas falls asleep. I get up slowly, so I don't wake him. It's only 4:38, and if I hurry, I can reach the five o'clock stop. But I can't just leave without saying goodbye. So I write him a letter, and put it by his bed.

 I can't leave in pajamas either. I quietly leave his room, and go into his mom's. There must be something in her closet that might fit me. I find a bin labeled "high school clothes." Perfect. I grab some shorts and a black tank top. Over the top I throw on a jean jacket that goes to my shoulders. I see a pair of old black converse, and I throw them on and hurry back to Lucas's room. He looks so peaceful. His lips slightly open, laying on his stomach, his arm dangling over the side of the bed. I walk over to him and kiss him on the lips for the last time. "I love you. Forgive me." I whisper, then climb through his window and out into the chilly night air. 

While walking, I hear my phone ringing. It's Lucas. Quickly I deny the call. Quickly minute later, Topanga calls. I decline her too. More from Lucas, and surprisingly one from my mom. As I reach the subway, I see that it will be here in two minutes. I'm not sure where I'm going, but the closest one says I'm going to a one way stop to the island. Well I've never been to the statue of liberty.

 One minute left. I hear people calling out my name, but I ignore them. Thirty seconds. I see Lucas running towards me. Five seconds. Some one knocks into me, pushing me over the edge, and into the way of the subway. I quickly stand up to see the bright lights, then something knocks into me.