The Way I Loved You

Maya

The food comes and the waitresses doesn't say anything. Well maybe she does, but I don't notice. When Lucas told me how sweet, I was, I got butterflies. No boy, or anyone EVER told me that. I think I always knew deep deep down that I was good. But that side of me was buried a long time ago. Back when my dad left me. I was five years old and don't remember much of it. Suddenly there's a hand in front of my face. "Maya? Earth to Maya. You okay?" He asks. "Woah, what? Yeah." I studder. "What's wrong?" He asks, an expression of concern forming on his face. "Nothing. Just remembering things." I say. "Well, could you maybe tell me?" He asks gently. "It might help smooth things over." He adds, his green eyes seeming to sparkle. I take a deep breath. "Lucas. This is something I've never told anyone before." I say. He nods, willing for me to continue. 

My mind floods back to that day. "I was five years old. Old enough to remember the gist of it, but not the full details." I say. Somehow though, I remember very clearly. Like it just happened. "I was coloring in my living room, drawing a picture of my family. I remember how my parents would fight. My dad would come home from work, tired and frustrated. He wasn't usually like this, until he started drinking. One day he came home drunk. Like I said, I was coloring. He marched through the door and yelled at me. I can't exactly remember what it was about, but he told me I was stupid. I ruined his life by being born, and he had always regretted having me. He said any child was better than me. I was and always will be nothing. I'll end up like my mom. Working at a stupid diner from dawn till dusk. Get knocked up by some drunk guy on the streets, and get stuck with my own worthless child. He hit me, punched me. Beat me to a pulp. There was nothing I could do. My mom just barely left to go buy groceries and my sitter called after she left saying she couldn't come. I was all alone, and when my mom came back and saw him abusing me, she tried to stop him. But he abused her too. He eventually passed out he was so drunk. My mom tucked me into bed. But I woke up a few hours later to screaming. I heard glass shattering and a door slam. After I saw him leave through my window, I never saw him again. After that day, I changed. I was alone. I always am. I always will be." I say. I wipe the tears from my face. Lucas looks at me like I'm a kicked puppy. 

"Maya I. I'm so sorry. I had no idea. But you're wrong. You aren't, and won't be alone. You have me. You always will. I promise." He says. "Promises are easily broken." I say. I want to believe him, I really do. But I know the truth. He'll find a girl, prettier, smarter, better than me and leave. "Maya, I know what you're thinking. You have never been more wrong. There is no one that is a better match for me. I love you. From the day we met until after we're both long gone. Maya Penelope Hart, I will love you forever." He says. It makes me laugh. While it's really sweet, it sounds like a marriage proposal. "Ouch." He says teasingly, his hand over his heart. "I just confessed my love for you and your laughing at me. Like you could have done better." He says.

 I take a deep breath. Being completely honest, I say, "Lucas Tristan Friar. I have loved you since I first glanced at you in the subway. If loving you meant hurting my best friend, then I would have to suffer in silence. I watched you. When you first got here, your charming voice telling me that you were new here, I felt hope. Hope that someone who didn't know me, might actually like me. That if you didn't know me, I could have a chance with you. But you bring out the best in me. You make me laugh, and sing. You may not know this, but the first time we met, I wrote a song for you. Lucas, I love you more than words could ever describe. And if its not too cheesy, I'd like to sing it to you sometime." I say. He smiles. 

"Come with me." He says. I pick up my hot chocolate and take it with me as Lucas leaves a tip. We walk in the cold November air to what looks like a recoding studio. "My dad's brother's sister in law owns this place. If you don't mind, I'd like you to record it for me." He says. I smile. He is truly the most amazing guy I have ever met. "Sure. I'd love to." I say. We walk into the room and he sits at the keyboard. I walk into the sound room and put on the headphones as I sit down. I pick up the guitar next to me and start to sing.