Lovely Sights | Gay Story

Disappear - Bn. 1

//Mention of mental health, self depreciation.//

Evan stood in front of his bathroom's mirror, wearing nothing on his torso.

"I look so awful..." Evan said, emotionlessly.

"It's because you are horrible." He felt his own mind telling him, he felt that way, but he didn't want to.

On a hot summer day, Evan was going to move away in a week, starting in East Bridge to finish his last two years, he felt thankful he even had this chance to move on.

"I really don't want to wear that thing, i'm fucking boiling right here." He pointed to his binder laying on a box of packaged furniture.

"Well, it's that or dysphoria hitting me hard the entire day, i can take sweating my life away for a week."

The climate was awful this time of the year, yet, the place they were going to move over was actually pretty okay, he could actually take using the binder and a hoodie at the same time.

"Fuck dysphoria, i hate it." He said as he gained courage and put on the black binder, he wondered why he got it black instead of white or cream toned.

He heard the bathroom door knocking, Valery shouted. "Evan! The bathroom's not only yours!"

"Coming!" He said, quickly putting the shirt on, sighing as he opened the door to let his sister in.

- - - - - - - - - - -
"... So Evan, i heard great things from East Bridge." Said his mom, trying to make a conversation topic during dinner.

Evan was sitting down, looking at his plate mindlessly and playing with his food.

"I heard they have great support for the LGBT community!"

"That's... a relief, but that's not the part i was worried about, honey." His father almost mumbled next to his mom.

"What is it?" His mom looked at his dad, confused.

"We're gonna be even more separated from Val... And who knows how accepting the students actually are in that school..."

Evan felt like it was his fault they were moving, but he knew it was because his dad got a new job, that allowed them to move, yet, he felt like they only went out of their way to move just because he wasn't comfortable where they lived.

He felt selfish, and awful.

And maybe he thought he was.

- - - - - - - - - -

It had been about 2 months since he broke up with Damien, and the weight of that really messed with his mind, since Damien was one of the first to ever know about his identity, and the first one to ever support him.

But he graduated shortly after the fact, and they were forced to break up, because he was going to college.

And Evan was left to think about how it could've gone if he stayed.

The reminiscence brought him back two years ago to Melissa, back when he hadn't sorted his identity out, a girl about his age, that was his first time ever having a relationship, he must say that at least it showed him that he wasn't ever comfortable with the concept of femininity.

That was in middle school, in high school is when things started to kick off.

In High school there were these guys, that he got comfortable with when he wasn't out yet.

And after being for a time with Damien, after his realization, he tried to come out.

That's when things went south.

He remembers vividly the heavy words that were directed towards him.

It was the kind of hate that made him want to disappear.

Damien worked as his supporting pillar all that time.

He was thankful it only lasted a year.

He knew things couldn't get worse.

It was around this time, that he started to eat less and less, the entire action of eating started to make him sick, he looked at himself in the mirror, and he saw something he hated.

So the fresh start probably wasn't that bad.

He would have the chance to start again, to get a clean slate, never make the error to come out to people if they don't have a clue.

He would act as your typical cis man, join the sports team, act recklessly.

He would do anything to make it better.

But the scars took longer to heal than he thought.

- - - - - -

[AUTHOR'S NOTE]
Hey!
Sorry for not uploading this after a long long time...
I just realized that this was getting more and more attention, and I got a sudden motivation.

I still gotta remind you to check Split, my newest story I'm writing, it's similar to Lovely Sights, but a lot more serious.

If that's not your cup of tea, I still gotta thank y'all for getting this story to 3k reads!

I never thought I'd get this that far.

And sorry for the depressing backstory above this note...

See you in the next bonus!
(For real this time.)