When You Stop Hating To Exist

Wise Choices // Alcohol

Jessie had received a call from Holly, again.

They have been calling each other often the last few weeks and it has gotten incredibly more personal every time. Their excuses had  become more and more lame.

Holly had called and Jessie had picked up.
They had not exchanged two sentences before Jessie was out of bed and dressed, ready to go over to Holly's immediately. Jessie did not dress uo for nothing because Holly invited her over. None of them would have anticipated another thing.
Jessie knew the way by heart, not like there was another way,  and arrived at Holly's soon.
She didn't even remember what exactly Holly had said and was therefore now kind of worried if turning up had been a good idea but now she had already knocked so it was too late.

Holly invited her in, obviously.

It smelled like food but Jessie could not at all decipher what exactly was being prepared. She did not want to ask either and therefore politely and awkwardly stood in the middle of the room. Holly was already back in the kitchen and thinking about it, Jessie probably should have followed her but in Jessie's defense Holly had not explicitly said that so maybe she was not allowed in the kitchen.

Holly had speed walked in the vague direction of her room but the food was still cooking and it made Jessie sweat because she did not want to leave the kitchen unsupervised but then on the other hand maybe Holly had made some kind of subtle gesture that Jessie should follow her and was now waiting but it could also be that she wanted to be in her room alone and would be weirded out if Jessie showed up.

The internal discussion was thankfully ended by a weird sound made by what Jessie guessed would be the sauce.
It had indicated that it wanted to be stirred and because starting a fire in Holly's apartment was indeed not on Jessie's bucket list, she quickly walked over and stirred (like the good girl she was). The ingredients still remained unknown because the smell was delicious but not exactly telling much.

Maybe a quick taste test would not hurt but then again curiosity killed the cat. However, Jessie thought, I am not a cat! And without hesitating, she sipped a bit from the spoon. It was creamy and a bit crunchy and it tasted like peanut butter. And there were tomatoes. Definitely some spices. Jessie had never tasted it before but guess what, it was wonderful.
She dipped a second time. It was hot enough to be served.
She had not swallowed when Holly entered the room.

She was now wearing more than nearly nothing.
She had covered her very short pajama pants with sweatpants and had thrown on some too big but too short very confusing top.
She looked good, Jessie would have liked another word but this look was simple and yet convincing.
Therefore it was good, fine.
It was not ‘okay’ though because ‘okay’ implied some kind of indifference and Jessie definitely was not indifferent towards this attire.
She was not sure what exactly was her feeling towards that but- she was still licking her finger and Holly was watching.
Jessie mentally cursed, she should really get a grip.

“I see you like it?” Holly smiled, “it's peanut sauce. I kinda hope you're not allergic?”

Jessie shook her head, “nope, not allergic. This tastes like heaven though so I would not be totally opposed if you'd invite me to eat it.”

Holly laughed before she came over to the kitchen and added some spices that did not have a label, “ts ts ts. It's rude to invite yourself. But you're lucky! I did plan to invite you sooo-.”

She turned off the gas and motioned to Jessie to place the content of the three pots on their plates. In the meantime, Holly opened the oven and placed two chicken pieces on their plates, before putting the other chickens back in the oven.

After that was done, Jessie grabbed the plates to serve them and Holly grabbed two bottles of beer because they were not exactly alcoholic but they kinda were. And because alcohol was the only thing Jessie could blame her feelings on (which she definitely abused).