My Christian Story on Notes

The Reasons

There are times when I blame myself, some people, and mine circumstances for my delays in entering the Christian life.

At times, I even question God of why He allowed me to wander that long. Because some days, I just feel that my life could have been better if I've earlier understand the things that I understand now.

But there are also times like this when I seem to see God's reason for allowing those delays in my life. It built my empathy and patience for other people. That whenever I tend to be frustrated and impatient over people I reach out for almost a year now but they are still there lost and wandering, I remember how I've also been like them and how God has been patient with me all those years.

There are also times when I blame myself, some people and mine circumstances for the many regrets I have in my life.

At times, I even demanded unto God for an answer as to why He let me have those wrong decisions when its Him who knew what will happen next. Because most days, I feel that my life could have been different if I've just made the right choices.

But there are also times like this when I seem to see God's reason for letting those regrets in my life, especially the big ones. It keeps my humility, and it makes me grateful for God's incomprehensible love toward me. That whenever I tend to feel burdened and displeased over these people's ways in living their lives, I remember how bigger my wrong decisions were, and I trust God over their lives knowing that where sin abounds, His grace will much more abound.

There are also times when I blame myself, and mine circumstances for the trials I got myself into.

At times, I even inquire unto God as to why He approved of these trials in my life. Because sometimes, I just feel that I could serve Him better if some bad things just didn't happen in my life.

But there are also times like this when I can see God's reason for approving those trials in my life. It built my sympathy and gentleness for other people. That whenever I get bothered and disappointed over how these people manage their trials in life, I remember how it felt being there and how God is more glorified in trials than in blessings.

And there are also times when I blame myself, and mine circumstances for the pain I have ended up with.

At times, I ask God as to why does my affliction has to be this deep but also at times, I blame myself because I feel like it wouldn't have needed to be this painful if I have obeyed and committed earlier.

But there are also times like this when I seem to see God's reason for allowing my pain to be this deep. It keeps my motivation alive into reaching out other people, especially the ones I love most. That even when I get tired and discouraged over the souls I try to win, I remember how I never want to add the same weight of torment in me again, and like Laura said, this pain is a constant reminder to me, that this earthly tabernacle of sorrow and groaning is not yet my home of dwelling.

It may not be everytime but with all those times, I thank God.

I thank God for the delays, for the regrets, for the trials, for the pain.

To Him be glory, now and forever.

- My Christian Notes

Related Bible verse:

"In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

- 1 Thessalonians 5:18