Captured By Darth Vader

Troubling past

Some minutes later he came back into my cell, he looked much more tense and troubled. He must've talked with a person he despised as I did every time I had to speak to him.

"Why don't we talk about your brother, Lillian." He said once he sat in front of me again, he was staring at me, wanting to catch my reaction. Fortunately, I was able to control my feelings and didn't give him the shocking reaction he wanted to see, instead, I stayed calm, however inside I was raging.

He shouldn't bring up my family, I would never be like my brother, not in a million years.

"I am not like him, would never join the dark side!" I answered as calmly as possible.

My brother, Oscar, wasn't born force-sensitive like me, he was strong and tall, but he always admired me for my abilities with the force. He often wondered why I was the lucky one who had been born with such a special trait.

He got so jealous of me that he became easy prey for the dark side. Darth Sidious found it easy to convince him to become a Stormtrooper. I was only five when he left, at that time he was seventeen and considered himself better than my parents and me.

I didn't exactly know how he died, since I had no contact with him. I only knew that it was an accident on a mission the empire sent him to. They didn't care about him and his companion's death, they only cared about the failed mission, it's always the same. People are just their employees who don't deserve to be commemorated.

"Is that so? Tell me, Lillian, what happened to those pilots who bombarded your house? They were found dead with a high suspicion of torture." He reminded me. I looked at him astonished, unable to speak. How did he know about them?

"I... I don't know." I replied nervously, looking down at my shaking hands. I knew exactly what happened to them since it was me who killed them all those years ago.

The two pilots were evil people, who killed two innocent souls. I knew what I did wasn't the best idea, but they deserved everything I did to them. Of course, as a member of the Jedi, I wasn't proud of what I did all those years ago when I was still a normal force user. However, I don't feel pity for those I killed that night.

I kept it a secret from everyone, even Willow, so I wondered how Darth Vader knew about it. I was ten years old when my parents were killed. He surely wasn't there since he was also a child when it happened.

"Lillian, don't lie to me, I know exactly what happened." He let me know. I felt more and more uncomfortable with every second that passed. I was embarrassed about it, and I knew what I did was wrong.

"I know it was you Lillian, the darkness deep inside of you got louder than the kindness, and you tortured those pilots to death to take revenge for your parents, there is nothing to be ashamed of Lillian." He told me. He was right, that night the darkness got ahead of the good in me and took control of me, something that will never happen again.

"Yes, I did it, I killed those pilots, but I was only ten and I couldn't control my anger. I have sworn myself that something like that won't ever occur again." I stated, my confidence was slowly coming back as I was trying to keep my mind block strong since he didn't need to know how I really felt about my past.

"You surely have the strength to be a Sith, you murdered two grown men at ten years old, Lillian, you are evil." His attempts to manipulate me were getting very obvious, and I was getting tired of shutting him up, I was a Jedi and I would die a Jedi. He was getting on my last nerve with his stupid interrogations.

"I will never join you, Darth Vader!" I yelled at him. His reaction was quick and unexpected. He pinned me against the wall with his hands placed on my shoulders. His expression had changed from relaxed to annoyed in just a second.

I was frightened about what he would do to me, but instead of beating me up he said:

"Don't yell at me, Lillian, you know what will happen." He was furious, clenching his teeth together and pressing me harder against the wall of the cell. His face was only centimeters away from mine, so I turned my head to the side to avoid the penetrating eye contact.

"Am I clear!? " He suddenly shouted as I shrugged. He came even closer to my face, therefore I could feel his hot breath against my face. I was sweating and breathing heavily out of fear.

"Look at me, Lillian. Did you understand?" He added in a fierce tone. I turned my head to face him, he was so close, that our noses were almost touching.

"Y...yes." I replied anxiously.

Finally, he backed off and got back onto his mattress. He seemed to calm down slowly.

"Go to sleep." He ordered as if nothing ever happened. I laid down on the mattress, still in shock about what just happened. He closed the lights and lay down, he hadn't changed into his normal clothes this morning, so he was still wearing his pajamas.

Before closing my eyes I started reflecting on what he had said earlier, Lillian you are evil, what if he was right? Perhaps I was evil, and I was just hiding it with the fact of being a Jedi? My whole life I was trying to make up for what I had done, helping people where I could. Although the pilots deserved what happened to them, I felt so guilty every time I remembered that night.

Darth Vader wasn't only the first person I ever admitted my crime to, he was also the first one to question my involvement in it. How did he know it was me?

I closed my eyes thinking that there was nothing that could be done to change my past, I did what I did and the thought of it will haunt me for the rest of my life.