The Guily Ones

Old friends...

"Where are you going?"

Hopping on one leg, I tried to put on my shoes. Chucks were so darn hard to get into!

"To Lafayette!"

Sookie eyed me suspiciously before getting up herself and calmingly placing a hand on my arm - partly to hold me back. "Ash..."

I broke free. "No!"

"Ash, listen to me, it's more complicated-"

I laughed coldly, and Sookie fell silent at the unnatural sound of it.

"Of course it is. I'm not surprised you're back on Eric's side again!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh come ON! Don't treat me like an idiot!" The more agitated I became, the more my voice escalated. And once I started ranting in anger, I could get unfair. "You constantly whine about your own drama, but you goad everyone around you into putting themselves in danger for you. It's not just bad luck, you actively seek out danger like a junkie seeks their fix. If your vampire friend Bill is too tame for you, you have to go for another murderous admirer-"

Slap.

I gasped in surprise.

Not so much Sookie, who had just slapped me across the face.

"I may have my faults, Ashley Simmons, but no one-", she had now raised her voice so loud it was practically a shout "- can accuse me of being responsible for what happened to my loved ones."

Sookie grabbed her things from the comfiest couch in all of Louisiana and stormed angrily to the door. In the doorway, she turned one last time. "And just because you have a perverse fascination with Eric that you can't handle, doesn't mean you have to project your feelings for him onto me. Maybe ask yourself what self-destructive tendencies you have, as he seems to be the only one who has interested you since you arrived in Bon Temps."

I wanted to object, but Sookie tapped her forehead.

"You may be harder to read than some, but your thoughts have been screaming at me these past few days."

Then she slammed the door shut, leaving me with gritted teeth and a poisonous comment stuck in my throat.

"Screw you all!" I finally yelled into the empty house and swept the plate of the counter with such force that it shattered into 100 pieces with a satisfying clatter. Breathing heavily, I stood in the empty room until the silence around me became deafening, and only the rush of my blood filled my eardrums.

I was never known for being particularly well tempered, but I usually didn't go this far over the edge. And certainly not so unexpectedly. But since the moment I saw Eric for the first time, bent over Tom's body and covered in blood, it was like I was sitting on a powder keg ready to explode at any moment, angry, helpless energy sizzling inside my veins, ready to be unleashed. And every time I saw him, it seemed impossible for it to get any worse – until it did.

It was frightening, nerve-wracking, and above all, exhausting. I didn't know how much longer I could withstand this inner tension. Upset, I paced back and forth in my cottage, and with every passing minute, it felt smaller. Too tight. Suffocating. And the fact that my new sofa, Eric's new sofa, took up more than half of the room didn't help the situation.

Eric takes over your life!

Without much thought, I grabbed the keys again and jumped into my now purring car.

See?

I had already covered half the distance to Shreveport before I even realized what I was doing. My thoughts were racing so fast that my head felt like I had been staring into an open flame for too long. Hot and hazy.

I rolled down my window for some fresh air and breathed a sigh of relief as the slightly cooler night air hit my burning face.

"Now I'm already on fire because of you," I murmured into the night, to no one in particular, as my car shot me down the highway as if I were flying. I almost missed the cozy and familiar rattle of my engine.

When I reached the parking lot of Fantasia, the cold air had cooled me down enough that my thoughts were clearer again. Which also brought back my inner voice. Slowly, I began to seriously worry about my state of mind and the fact that I didn't seem to have much control over it.

Don't be so stupid!

I marched straight towards the entrance of the tacky vampire bar, not hesitating as I stomped off stubbornly and walked right into a group of excited teenagers.

"...supposedly the lover of Queen Elizabeth!"

The girl to my left, with short brown hair and a tonne of eyeliner around her eyes, chuckled. "The old lady in England?"

The redhead next to her rolled her eyes. Her outfit was so tiny that if it weren't made only of fabrics like latex and lace, I would have guessed it came from the children's department. Just like the wearer.

"No, Lacy, the 'Virgin Queen' from the 16th century-" She raised her hands around the words Virgin Queen and drew quotation marks in the air before winking at her friend. "-though I doubt she didn't let him have his way with her."

Sigh.

"I'd let Eric have his way with me!"

My head snapped around to the teenagers as I choked on my own spit. They couldn't have been more than 15! Just as I was about to intervene in their conversation and send them home with a warm soup and a self-help book, I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"That's the plot of Doctor Who, dimwits!"

Again, I turned around, where a broadly grinning... what was her name again?

"Toilet girl?"

"Runaway Bride?"

I laughed.

"Oh God, please don't call me that."

My dark-haired savior from the bar laughed too and caught up with me. "Did my heroic sacrifice work at least?"

I shook my head.

She sighed.

"I could have figured that out myself. You're standing in front of his bar. Did the scoundrel manage to lure you in, huh?"

I wanted to object but couldn't get a word in edgewise.

"Too bad he didn't try to lure me in. Do you happen to feel like sharing?"

"I-"

"No, I wouldn't either. But take care of yourself. Vampires are nothing to mess with... Or maybe they are?"

She winked at me and before I could respond, she danced away as quickly as she had appeared, waving at me from the entrance of the bar, signaling me to come.

I pushed through the surging crowd to join her. After all, I didn't want to be a guest at the bar, but rather rip the limbs off the bar owner. The drink was only after I would have accomplished that!

"She's with me!" Toilet girl informed the blonde Pam, who eyed me suspiciously.

"Megs and Sookie's friend..."

I snorted at the mention of Sookie. Her words still lingered with me. She had hit a nerve I didn't want to think about. Pam seemed to notice my displeasure, and her grin widened.

"Oh, trouble with your bestie?"

I had no intention of answering Pam and turned my head away, still feeling the sting of her accusations and spot on observation. Pam laughed coldly and nodded at us.

"Go on in!"