The Guily Ones

The Next Day

The next day hit me hard. I needed a moment to readjust after my clock on my bedside table had basically scared my half to death. I had snuggled up to Tom who had been by my side on an air-mattress. The sun had warmed out bodies and our souls, leaving a big smile on my face while the continuously rising temperature from our humid surrounding of the swamp almost felt like someone had dropped us in a hot bath tub. With a happy sigh I'd listened to his constant heartbeat while we both enjoyed each other's silence company. Tom had kissed my forehead causing his breath to tickle my skin.

"I am so sorry!", he whispered, so I turned my face towards him in confusion.

"Sorry about what?"

His beautiful features got twisted and his hazel brown eyes started glowing in the late afternoon sun like whisky. I could almost feel him saying something underneath me, waited for his tembre to vibrate through my body, but he stayed silent.

I shock his shoulder.

"Tom?"

The freaking ringing of my alarmclock got me to basically jump out of my skin and literally fall out of my bed bruising my backside on the dirty covered carpet.

Well good morning world.

Parts of my brain were still trying to unwiggle from my dream. I had half expected to roll down from an air mattress but I was sitting on the floor of my former blue carpet next to my white  bed frame.

So swamp, no New York, no Tom.

Bon Temps.

Planet Earth.

Plus I was late for my early shift. Again.

Like every morning I felt the crushing pain of loss tumble over me after realising it all just had been a dream. I placed my hand over my broken heart as if it would help me wand of those crushing cramps of pain and suffering.

I took a deep breath.

Once.

Twice.

Three Times.

The more I was awake, the easier it got to bottle up the pain again -  push it aside. Another dream of Tom.

Like every night.

And I had woken up in pain after realising it all just had been a dream and he'd actually been brutally murdered.

Like every morning.

Quite the routine I had going here. Weren't routines suppose to be a good thing? Well, I had to include my breathing techniques in my morning routine, since waking up in agony was part of my life now. I felt my heart break into a million pieces again, sight and got up. I had found a way to keep my head above water instead of drowning in my sorrows. Jumping into action - well and alcohol I guess, but it was early in the morning and I was still shaking from my dream so drinking didn't seem like the right next move. Especially not considering what had happened the night before.

I froze.

Right. James! Eric! The world turning upside-down. That whole thing!

As soon as I had turned the keys to my little apartment and touched my beds surface I had been sound asleep. Apparently I only managed to pull of one of my shoes and slept in my greezy Merlottes Uniform. And I smelt!

Untangling my legs from my bedsheets I got up. Time to take a shower. Accompanied by a squeaky sound the water hit my naked skin -  way to cold for my taste. I turned the heat up and started scrubbing of everything that had happened. Physically and emotionally.