A Detective's Story

Chapter Twelve

I never thought that I'd hear snoring louder than my fathers.

But that's because I hadn't met these two imbeciles before that.

Miles has always been a deep sleeper, but at least he didn't that much.

Well,

I don't know if it's exhaustion,

but they are both snoring as loud as the fucking engine of a plane.

I'll probably be lucky if we make it to next morning, because with how loud these snores are,

We are attracting every single thing in this forest towards our location.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, frustrated with the noise.

I push the door, and it doesn't budge.

I sigh. 

I grab the large rock next to me,

which probably got in during the crash, considering the huge whole in the front windshield.

I use it to bust open my window.

I slowly crawl out,

until my butt gets stuck in the fuckin window.

Being flat would have really helped me right now,

but,

this is not eighth grade.

I kind of regret trying so hard to get a bigger butt throughout my school years,

cause now that my butt isn't similar to the surface of a table,

this is what happens.

The guys were ruthless.

This is a lesson to you all, don't make fun of others, or they will have their butts stuck in a fucking window.

That was stupid but it's true, don't make fun of others bodies.

My thoughts are interupted by loud laughter.

Shit.

"Hey butt face!" I hear Coffee yell.

"Shut your fuckin mouth." I grumble.

"I can hear you snoring from Pluto so I wouldn't-" I begin before Coffee cackles.

I have never heard such a hideous laugh in my entire laugh.

I scrunch up my nose.

I'd hate to be one of his victims and hear this laugh before I die.

He probably noticed my silence, which made him laugh harder.

"Why the hell do you laugh like that?!" I yell.

He continues laughing.

"At least my fatass isn't stuck in a window!" he screeches.

What the hell is going on.

"Your acting like some grotesque beast that crawled from the lake!!" I yell.

That was kind of mean,

but from the way he continues laughing,

I figure he didn't mind.

After a few minutes, he stops laughing and I squeeze through the window.

I glare at him through the window and we just blankly stare at each other for a few minutes.

"You can stop staring, buttface." he says blankly.

"You were staring first, beast." I say coldly.

We then pause and stare at each other again.

God, this is embarassing.

This isn't normal.

But I am definetly not breaking the eye contact first,

that's some wimpy shit.

"Y'all are kinda weird . . ." Sidekick says, distracting us two from our staring match.

Sidekick starts to laugh.

"Are y'all in love or something?" he says, still laughing.

Me and Coffee both scoff.

"No." I grumble.

"I don't fall in love with people with a butt as a face." Coffee remarks.

I glare at Coffee, causing Sidekick to laugh harder.

His laughing is interupted by a stick snapping.

I whip around, just to see . .  .

oh shit, we're doomed.

This was a lazy chapter sorryyyyy

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