DANGEROUSLY

Hahaha

Sky looked defeated. He couldn't lose another person. One after another tears trickled down till it became unbearable to hold back. He felt his heart crush in a split second. He shook Pai but there was no response. It was impossible and definitely not a person he was starting to fall in love with. He felt dejected. Glued to the person in front of him. Pai didn't move. " What do I do? Do I.... Why is my brain not functioning now. ...
He tried several times to wake the man but he didn't get any response. Sky in one desperate attempt said;
" If there was ever a moment I'll ask for anything in my life, it will be now. I won't leave, I'll stay right by your side. Please wake up my Pai."
Tears dropped down his face. With the lowest voice Pai said
" Do I have to go this far just to get you to be honest with your feelings." He opened his eyes to Sky's crying and pleading. Sky froze in his tracks. He couldn't pretend anymore. He couldn't act stoic. Pai got up and in a split second he grabbed Sky who wanted to find the nearest exit. He had stopped crying and was clearly blushing pink. He was lost as to how to react in this situation. He looked left and right. His arm was being held by Pai.
" Would you just admit that you're head over heels in love with me already?"
"Never! I just came because.... Because
"Because of what? You can't live without me? You can't enjoy life when I'm not around? Why is it so difficult for you to admit your struggles. You think you're the only one that suffers? I guess I've never been really hard to you that's why you take me for granted."
" P'Pai, I never take you for granted. You're everything to me and ..."
" But when it's time to make the big decisions in the relationship, you take them alone. Leaving me to my feelings and hurt. Sky, you're so fucking selfish.
" Me , selfish? I did this to protect you. Taytie wanted to...."
" Kill me? Sky at this point that is not new. You know what's new? The fact that you upped and left me high and dry with no word , no calls nothing. Just banged and left me. You didn't think I'll miss you or you didn't think I'll even bother looking for you? Sky I need you to admit something."
" What's that?"
" The fact that it's easier for you. I'm the one who loves you, I'm the one who stays in this place constantly waiting for you like sleeping beauty waiting for his prince charming. You expect me to wait at one point for you forever."
" But you're getting married now and I just..."
" So why are you here? To congratulate me? To wish me well? Why?"
" I..."
" There's no point in defending yourself. I'm easily a distraction so you let me go as easy as you can. That's how it has always been and it hurts. It's not about you leaving me anymore, it's about how often you'll do this to me. Sky I have a heart.... And do you think I can bring myself to get married to another person? Is that how lowly you see me? How dare you." Pai placed his hand over Sky's chest smacking it lightly over and over again. This time tears began to fall from his eyes. He couldn't control himself. They were tears he had been wishing he could share for ever so long but he couldn't bring himself to. He told himself " one more day P'Pai, one more day and Sky will be back to uou" for six months. Pai felt his heart rip to pieces each day he couldn't see Sky. He was expecting him the next day and the next day. Waiting outside his house , his office, his friend's house. For so long his heart had given up on him several times that he couldn't even count.
" Sky, did you live fine without me? If you did, I won't feel so mad. I won't even bother stressing myself about your feelings."
" I ... I...P'Pai ...I .." Pai couldn't control himself anymore and got up
" Hahaha, was it worth it? Was it fucking worth it leaving me? You didn't even live well."
" I did,"
" Sky, you looked like you lost a lot of weight. Or is the weight loss also part of living fine. You have dark circles around your eyes. They are budgy like a person that has been crying for months. So why? Why did you put yourself through all of this. Wasn't it equivalent to dying? Wasn't it? I know, I've never raised my voice to you before but this time I won't hold back. SKY, I LIVED LIKE I WAS DEAD WITHOUT YOU. I COULDNT EAT. I KEPT GOING TO THE PLACES WE USED TO GO HOPING TO SEE YOU THERE. YOU WEREN'T. YOU REALLY WEREN'T. YOU LEFT ME, AFTER PROMISING TO STAY BY MY SIDE...I
" P'Pai, I am so sorry, I don't know how to make it up to you, I left because Taytie promised to kill you and I couldn't let that happen so I saved you by going on a mission or several missions to keep you safe." Pai put his hand over his lips. What he was about to say broke him from inside but he summoned courage to say it. Sky held his hand. He didn't dare stand up he just stayed in a kneeling position with one hand holding Pai.
" And if you died? Sky I pretended to die and you lost your mind just now. What if you really died? Did you consider me at all. How I would live? I'm thinking all the times I said I loved you seemed like a joke. Sky look at my eyes. I would die. I can't live in a world you do not exist. Like a little light you crept into my life. And I followed that light which is you. And whenever you leave, my world gets darker. Sky I don't think I'll be able to explain the depth of love I have for you even if I tried. And it hurts me to see you trivialize it daily." Pai burst into a low sob. The weight of it all came crashing on Sky. He was wrong. Wrong for leaving and even more wrong for not truly and fully grasping the situation. You do not hurt the people you love.