Randy had one simple mission:
Save the President's life and avert nuclear destruction for the United States of America.
For a guy with a 195 I.Q. that's a slam dunk from a ladder propped against the hoop, right? But nothing was easy for Randy these days. His best chance for success depended on his ability to work with his three teammates: Southern Bella, Zendi, and DeathbySex - all former band mates in the chart busting, super group known as Trinity.
Oh yeah, he also had to collaborate with the new guy - an arrogant prick named HackerBoy: an unexpected, unwanted, jealous fifth wheel, the definition of overprotective brother, and the anti-wingman. Hate was a euphemism for how Randy felt about him, and the feeling was mutual.
Everything would have gone much smoother if Randy hadn't slept with all of them in high school. It kind of complicated the cooperation part. Well, he bedded everyone except HackerBoy. Although he actually did kind of do it with HackerBoy although Randy had not known so at the time.
Because all four of his accomplices were the same person.
Scratch that - they "shared a mutual personal space," as Zendi would remind him. DeathbySex and Southern Bella freaked out whenever Randy insinuated that they are actually one and the same.
"Get you head in the game, Glitch!" screamed one of them. Probably HackerBoy or DeathbySex.
Randy hated that nickname.
YOU ARE READING
I don't know where this ends, but I think I'll keep going
HumorFor fans of Jason Pargin AKA David Wong, Jack Townsend, and that weird kid who talks shit which no one listens to but won't stop talking about online while hating on him. The world has sunk lower than a stripper ant who can pick up crumbs bent over...
