I don't know where this ends, but I think I'll keep going

T-MINUS 12 YEARS, 3 MONTHS, 5 DAYS (OR WHAT HAPPENED NEXT)

Randy sat up on the bed and scooted over as Zendi sat down.

"Alias wasn't kidding when she said the ultrasound was less than forthcoming," began Zendi. "She was born intersex, a hermaphrodite, to parents who were ill equipped to accept the fact. Her father was the last male in his family line and desperately wanted a boy. His wife who had secretly wanted a little girl vehemently fought against making any rash decisions. Test were run, recommendations were made, more doctors were consulted for second, third, and fourth opinions, and finally it was decided Ali would be assigned a female gender.

If only it had been that easy. Her father treated her like his a son had been born a sissy. Imagine how fathers react to their sons when they first realize they might be gay or heaven help us - transgender! For Ali, that was day one of her life and hope that she would change was abandoned before she hit the crib. He could never look at Ali and see his little girl like most fathers did. He could pat her back, but not really hold her. It was like trying to love something dead. The dead are mourned – a kind of sluggish, listless love at best – but not that vibrant open the blinds and shouted 'Hello Today!' type of love, and as far as her father was concerned, Ali might as well have died in child birth. He was resentful of his wife who also had doubts that the right decision had been made whenever Ali did something decidedly 'boyish.' So as hard as they tried, they couldn't really give her the love that most children not only crave but need to thrive.

So she became Alias. And Alias was - nothing, could do nothing, and amounted to nothing. She tried to get everyone's attention. Her parents. Her teachers. Other kids her age, but she didn't know how – how to make contact. Kids her age sensed that there was something different about her and ran away like wild animals scurry far into the forest at the sight of humans. Finally she started thinking it might be better if she never got to know the human race.

Her parents taught her practical things. Speech, mobility, identification of things both helpful and harmful, a bit of morality, but they never really hugged her. They never intensely loved – anything, not even each other. After the disaster of their intersex child, they took to separate bedrooms and had only a platonic relationship of monetary convenience. It was a cardboard, fake life. And Ali knew it."

"How awful," said Randy sympathetically, and then more cautiously. "But you are a girl, right?"

"Yes, Randy. I would think last night would have settled any question about that," replied Zendi. For someone who was supposed to be one of the smartest men in the world, this boy appeared to be severely lacking in common sense.

"Riiight. That was awesome! But Ali, how did you cope? It must have been terrible."

"Zendi. I'm Zendi," replied Alias. "It wasn't easy. She spent most of her time alone, but that solitude gave her hours to learn how to play musical instruments. She tried playing publicly to very little fanfare. She auditioned for bands to be a lead singer or guitarist, but she was never a good fit even if her voice and playing outshined all the others. All popular music is wrapped in a package of sex, sex sold to teens in teasing lyrics. But Ali, she didn't feel sexual. She felt like an empty box - one with no rattle on Christmas morning so it is abandoned in favor of a more spectacular bow. She had her music, and she knew it was special." Zendi played with the fret of Bella's guitar.

"So she did what any teenaged kid who was musically inclined would do: she made YouTube videos and got on social media. Except social media is not known for its kindness. She had zero friend invitations and virtually no looks. It was frustrating to know you have such great talent, but that it just wasn't coming through. Because the one key ingredient she lacked, which had been missing her whole life, was confidence.

Then she came up with the idea of creating separate profiles. She went thrift shopping and bought some country western outfits and a blond wig. Alias didn't command much applause at the coffee houses, but Bella – Bella got rounds of applause and a huge uptick on views for her new videos."

"So this is an act, right?" asked Randy. Zendi gave him a cold stare and strummed the guitar.

"Ali was still dissatisfied. She loved being Bella, but she had so much anger and fire inside. So much – pain. Bella could never do that justice. So she went back to the thrift stores and bought solid black, chains, and black, feather boas. She wore heavy theatrical makeup and dabbed her lips in black glitter. She cut her hair unevenly short and spiked it with gel. She got another profile, set up more videos, and DeathbySex was born.

Now she really had it all. Her friend requests increased daily. Her likes were in the six digits approaching over a million. Those garage bands who had passed on Alias, they were all now rushing to get DeathbySex to be in their group even if she made it clear she was a solo act.

And then one night it happened. Ali found herself at the Rat Trap with absolutely no idea how she got there. At first she thought some guy must have slipped her a roofie and thanked the stars she hadn't been assaulted. But then a week later it happened again. Only this time she was coming off the stage of the Mercury to a standing ovation without a clue what she had done to deserve it. She went to the ladies room and was shocked to see herself dressed as Bella. Bella and DBX were no longer parts she was playing – they were coming out to play even when she hadn't planned it. Alias was becoming a lost puppy who couldn't find her way home while the other two, Bella and DBX, were the ones who tugged on her body's leash."

"So what happened to you then?" asked Randy.

"I did," said Zendi. "I'm the practical yet spiritual side of Ali. We do just fine as long as I'm there to mediate – and meditate. Look, this was fun, but I don't blame you if you want to go. I imagine this is all too much to take in. I can - I can help Alias to forget. Maybe even forget she even met you. It makes it easier. Bella will be heart broken, but Death will just move on as she always does. You can walk right past Alias in the school halls as you had done before last night, and she won't have a clue who you are. I'm sort of like a mental roofie," Zendi added with a self-deprecating grin.

"What are you talking about?" Randy cried out shocked. "I'm not going anywhere. This is Super Cool! I'm all in, babe" he added giving Alias a tight hug. Zendi tried to decide what to do. Hugs were something alien to both her and Alias. "- I mean, if that's what you want, too" he added sheepishly.

"But I'm a freak," said Alias. That was definitely Alias. He was learning to tell the difference.

"Hey, we're all freaks in high school," replied Randy. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. It was the first time Zendi had ever been kissed.

And then is was Zendi's turn to think: So That Happened. Which was even stranger because never in her entire life had she imagined, anything like that would happen especially after the truth about Alias came out.