Love's Charade

three - taylor

tw: minor s.a in the flashback at the end, please don't read the bit in italics if this effects you

Travis' lips felt so strange against mine, but not in a bad way. Just, in a new way I guess. It was a little weird to kiss a man I'd just met, but I knew I'd get used to it. And it was good to know we could sell our relationship as real, since we seemed to be able to work together, kiss like a real couple.

"Okay." I sighed, dropping back onto my feet before it got awkward. "Good. I think we'll be fine."

"Sure there's nothing else you want to test out?" Travis asked cheekily.

"Get off me!" I shoved him, laughing. Earlier had been frosty, but maybe that's just because we'd been strangers. I felt like I knew him a little now, and we were quickly settling into it. Hopefully. "Look, we'll be spending a lot of time around each other from now on." I sighed when Travis took a step back, folding his arms. "We're gonna have to have some rules."

"Like what?"

"Like..." I thought about it. "Giving each other our own space when we're not putting on the act. I won't bother you, you won't bother me. I'm going to be really busy with the tour and I've got a lot to do around all the shows. I don't need any distractions, and I'm guessing you want to do whatever you're doing on your own." Travis nodded. 

"It's only when we can be seen." He added on. "Out of sight, we'll just be...roommates I guess."

"And no sex." I blurted out. Travis raised his eyebrows at me and I immediately blushed.

"I figured that was a given, since we're only pretending to date. I don't know about you Blondie, but I don't make a habit of having sex where the world can see me."

"Great." I flushed darker, embarrassed. "Well, feel free to do whatever you want. Be ready to leave at seven. Semi-formal."

Brushing past him, I moved from the room, going down to my little at-home studio. Not bothering to close the door since the cats would follow me and meow to be let in if it wasn't open, I closed it almost all the way and went to sit down on the couch. Grabbing my computer, I opened it, connected it to my speakers, and hit play before grabbing my guitar and resting it on my lap.

I wasn't allowed to do any treadmill voice training so close to the first show so remained sitting on the couch as the backing tracks of the setlist started blaring from my computer speakers. Sitting up straighter, I played along absent-mindedly on my guitar as I sang on cue, focusing on my breathing and how my voice came out. I'd done a lot of conditioning recently and had improved a lot. Since I hadn't toured in years, we'd started training really early on to make sure this was the best tour it could possibly be.

I paused when the backing track to Lover started, my fingers stilling against the strings of my guitar. With a sigh, I leaned forwards and hit the pause button. This was the song that had been affected most by what had happened with Joe, and I found it hard to play it like I'd used to. I struggled to love the song like I had when I'd written it, struggled to play it like still I loved it, but I knew I had to.

Getting to my feet, I paced around the room as I started to pick out the chords acoustically, deciding against using the backing track for now. Walking up and down the room, I started humming quietly to myself. Then I stopped on the spot, standing in the middle of the room, and closed my eyes to concentrate better.

"We could leave the Christmas light up 'til January
And this is our place, we make the rules"

I sang it slower than it was meant to be, carefully controlling my voice, easing myself into the song.