Love's Charade

nine - taylor

I leaned against the sink, staring at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed, my heart thumping. 

Travis' Mom hadn't been what I'd expected. I hadn't thought about the fact that I'd have to meet his family, and I hadn't been prepared. I'd tried my best, but I felt like she could tell I secretly disliked her son. There was just something about the way she'd smiled that made me think she could see right through our act.

I shuddered, trying not to think about it. I was exhausted, my body aching from how hard I'd pushed myself on the weekend. And I was so stressed out and on edge; Joe had been making comments recently. Tree had told me she was monitoring it and that I shouldn't worry, but I was worrying like crazy. Joe and I had not ended on good terms, and if he wanted to run his mouth about me, he could say so much to ruin things. 

"Fuck." I sighed, resting my head in my hands. 

"Blondie?" There was another knock on the door.

"Oh my god, what?" I snapped, turning to yank the door open. "You want me to meet your dad too?" I stuck my hands on my hips, staring up at him. Travis paused, and then he held out something. I glanced down, my anger dissipating when I saw the pills in his hand.

"I thought you might need these." He murmured. "You look like you've got a headache."

"Fuck." I whispered, leaning against the door as I looked up at him. "Travis, I'm sorry. I'm being such a bitch." Blinking away tears, I lifted my hands to my face and rubbed my eyes. "I'm sorry." I sighed. "You're just trying to be nice to me and I'm just arguing over everything."

"It's okay Blondie, you're exhausted." Travis shrugged. 

"No, it's not okay." I insisted. "Yeah we don't like each other, but I'm not making it any easier. I'm such a bitch." Glancing down, I fiddled with my fingers, feeling absolutely awful. I'd been nothing but a raging bitch to him all this time, and I'd only just realized how awful I'd been. And yeah, he'd been an asshole right back, but still.

"Hey." Travis took my chin and lifted it. "You're exhausted and stressed out, don't beat yourself up about it. I'm not making it any easier on you." He sighed. "Come sit down. I think we should talk about this and sort something out. We're just in a constant cycle of arguing, being nice, and then arguing for no reason. We need to stop."

"Yeah." I sighed, and Travis nodded. 

Taking the pills from him, I went to get a glass of water and then sat down at the little table. Travis was quiet as I swallowed the pills, waiting until I'd put my glass down before he sighed and leaned forwards a little.

"Alright." He said. "I think we started out on the wrong foot. You don't like that you had to take this deal, and I don't like that I had to take this deal. We take everything out on each other because we're mad at the world and mad at ourselves. I don't know about you, but it's getting fucking exhausting." I nodded, chewing on my bottom lip. "And I'm sorry that I've been such an asshole, because this is two sided. I think you're actually really nice when you want to be, and I really admire you." My cheeks flushed and I balled my hands into fists, staring at him. "I want you to tell me what it is that you don't like me doing, and we can figure out a way to make this easier."

"Nothing." I sighed. "You do nothing wrong. I just take things out on you because you're always around and you'll always snap back." My cheeks flushed darker. "You're really a nice guy Travis, and I'm sorry. I'm really stressed out, but I know that's not an excuse."

"What's going on?" Travis asked. "Is there something else?"

"Just..." I sighed. "Joe's been saying things about me and I'm scared he'll start saying things I don't want people knowing."