The Things We Held On To

2) Always There

Aris's P.O.V

I was more than worn out. Being the only medic took every ounce of energy from me until there was nothing left. That, and it started out with her which is basically hell.

I try. I'm trying so hard not to give her my thoughts, but it's so hard when she's always there in some way.

At least not now. At home, I can be all by myself, away from her.

“Hey Aris,”Harriet called as I was about to go inside.

“Yeah?”I asked after taking a breath.

“So here's the thing about your home, but first remember that I’m just the messenger.”

“It can't be that bad. Just tell me,”I shrugged.

“So yours was built by guys that Gally was still training, and it turns out that they aren't that good at making stable places. So basically Gally's going to check the homes they made.”

“What do you mean check the homes?”I dared to ask.

“Just rebuild some parts. So you're going to be living with someone else,”She said slowly.

“With who?”

“We're just putting you with Y/N. You two don't talk a lot, but-”
“Absolutely not. I am not going anywhere near her,”I said firmly.

“Why? You never pay attention to her,”She pointed out.

“I will not spend one second with her.”

“Why?”

“Because I won't. I would sleep on the ground before I stayed with her.”

“Well, that's a bit harsh. What’d she do to you?”

“What did she even say about this?”I asked, pulling the conversation away from why she makes me break my don’t hold grudges rule.

“She just said good luck getting him to agree, which just means if you say yes you get to stay with her,”She stated, as if this was some sort of treat.

“Harriet, I can't-”
“Everyone else has been paired up because of this. She was the last one on the list.”

“I’d rather be housemates with the ocean.”

“Aris, your stuff is literally packed up on her porch.”

“But-”
“It's just for a month. Maybe two, but then you can go back to never talking for some reason. So you should get going.”

“I’d rather drown,”I mumbled.

“Aris-”
“I’m going for a walk,”I muttered, keeping my jacket around me and finding my way past her and down the path I went every morning. Glaring at the ground, I just took my spot alongside the water and kept going to absolutely nowhere. As long as it didn't have Y/N who even cares?

× ~ × ~ × ~ ×

I was getting sick of this. It was cold and dark and too silent for it to be comforting.

I meant it when I said the ocean was better than her though.

Walking back up the shore, it felt fair to assume everyone was asleep. That gave me time to see if my blanket was in there and make a mini bed in the sand. I could find my own isolated set up. What's the worst that could happen?

Spotting her place, I carefully crept up her porch steps. Finding a bag, just as I reached for it a flashlight shone in my eyes, making me snap my head up to see Y/N just standing there.

“I figured you’d be here eventually,”She stated.

“I’m just grabbing my stuff,”I said quickly.

“And going where?”

“I don't know. I’ll figure it out, okay? Just let me be,”I groaned, picking it up just for it to be light. Opening it, I saw that it was empty.

“Your stuff’s inside. I have you set up already,”She shrugged.

“I don't-”
“You're not going to be able to stay two months outside,”She reminded me. Keeping my cold look, I wondered how the hell she could stand there like she belonged here, like she had suffered like us. She probably doesn't even know pain. The worst she's probably had is a paper cut from whatever creepy spy notes she took.

“We don't have to be friends. We probably won't. I don't think you’ll ever like me, and that's fine. We don't have to talk. We don't have to be something, but we can coexist. We can be civil. So come inside, and get some sleep,”She pushed.

“Just so you know, you're right. I will never like you,”I promised, grabbing my bag as I stood up. Acting like she hadn't heard me, she opened her door and led me inside.

The first thing I noticed was the shards of broken glass around her kitchen that were so tiny that if she didn't have the light you wouldn't notice the shiny pieces. While it looked like someone had tried to sweep them up, it was also scattered everywhere. The next was a bunch of binders halfway shoved under her couch. Coming through her hall, I saw dents in the wall from who knows what.

“When you wake up don't bother with the kitchen. Unless you want water, but if you do wear shoes. I tried to get it all up, but there was only so much I could do for now. I also don't have food so I’ll see about getting that later,”She explained, opening a small door that just had a cot with one of my blankets and a pillow. With the bare minimum amount of clothes put in a small bag, the entire place was just off.

“How do you live like this?”

“Like what?”She asked.

“Just like this,”I tried to explain, gesturing to her entire room.

“You’d be surprised what people can consider great if you keep them somewhere for long enough.”

“Are you speaking in tongues or something?”I genuinely wondered.

“Probably to you. Anyways, good night,”She told me, shutting the door and going to probably her couch. I don't know.

With nothing but the curtains slightly drawn to give me light, I made my way to the cot. As I layed down, I realized that it just felt too unused, like it had just been picked up. Does she just live in a room with only clothes? What the hell is up with her place?

I don't know, but worrying won't do anything. For now, I'll just going to sleep.