The Things We Held On To

9) The Invitation

Aris’s P.O.V

Now I kind of feel like a prick. I mean she doesn't have any other friends kicking down her door. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. I mean she has to get lonely sometimes, right? That's why she goes to the ocean?

Looking over, I saw her sitting at the desk, her head down as she faced the front. Her face held this, not pity, but genuine sadness, like she was just barely holding on.

At the same time, she's such a big reminder of . . . them. She comes with all these horrid memories that I can't just forget.

“Your nose seemed to heal fine,”I spoke, trying to make conversation.

“Yeah. Thanks,”She mumbled.

“What? No jab at me this morning?”

“What do you want from me?”She asked quickly, snapping her head towards me.

“I don't want anything from you,”I promised.

“You're frustrating. You know that, right? You want to be left alone so what do I do? I leave you alone. And what do you do? You complain. You want me to take a stupid jab at you, and you start another argument. Does anything satisfy you? Is anything ever going to be good enough? Or should I just leave? Should I just end it all? Is that what would finally be good enough for you? Is that what would finally make you happy?”She ranted, standing up and crossing her arms over her chest as she glared at me.

“I am happy. Why wouldn't I be happy? I’m alive and here and perfectly fine,”I defended, glaring back.

“Yeah. It really seems like it,”She huffed under her breath, trying to leave.

“Excuse me?”I snapped, grabbing her arm.

“Yeah. You sure seem real happy when you go days without talking.”

“I do not-”
“You do. Whether you like it or not, you're not happy here. And you feel guilty for that, don't you? Because you think you have to be. Because you're here, and someone you love, someone you cared for, someone who died an awful death, isn't? So now you have to sit there everyday knowing that you failed the only good thing you had and if you aren't constantly cheerful, you're an ungrateful prick who should just join her? Because if you aren't always happy that means that all of it, all of the pain and torment, meant nothing. All of it was worthless. So you lay there, wondering why it couldn't have been switched?”

“I am happy. I’m. Happy,”I repeated, my voice cracking and threatening to break at any moment.

“Well, I’m happy here too,”She echoed, hers sounding the exact same, giving away that she was telling the same lie.

If I confront her about it though, if I try to say something, I have to actually admit that I’m not happy either. Not really.

“I’m sorry. They aren't just my friends, and they seem to like you.”

“It's okay. I know that I wasn't the best to you. Ever. I know why you don't want me around.”

“Well, to be fair, I haven't been the nicest back. Not really.”

“Yeah, but I get why. I do.”

“Yeah. I guess,”I mumbled, leaning against the wall behind me.

“Yeah,”She mumbled back.

“Well, we’re all going to hang out at the beach tonight. If you want to come?”I offered.

“Do I have to swim?”She asked hesitantly.

The question caught me off guard, seeing as to what her late night activities are, but nevertheless I answered.

“No. I mean I usually stay on the sand while everyone else does.”

“Yeah. I guess that could be alright,”She agreed.

“Cool then. I’ll bring you with me I guess.”

“Yeah. I guess that works.”

We both stood there for another moment, in now silence, taking in what was just planned.

I actually just invited her to be part of the friend group. 

Your P.O.V

I was nervous about this, which should be understandable. I mean this is kind of new, and from the way Aris described it, it seems like we’ll end up being completely alone for a while.

“I can go home now? If you changed your mind?”I offered.

“No. It's fine. I invited you now and Sonya's invited you before so you should come. If you want?”

“Yeah. I do,”I nodded.

“Great. So let's go then,”He sort of smiled, nodding his head towards the door. Nodding after in agreement, I kept my hands in my pockets as I headed towards it.

“You're not going to change your mind later, right? Get angry at me again?”

“No. Probably not,”He answered. That wasn't that reassuring, but I’ll take what I can get.

“That's good enough I guess,”I mumbled, walking the path to the shore with me. We didn't speak, not really knowing what to say.

Stepping out of the grass, we made our way to the sand to see that everyone else was already there, just sitting in a circle around a small fire.

Here we go then.