Don't tell my best friend.

The end

Almost four years later, I was still together with Max. 

Raphael and I were still friends; my raw feelings for him had now become a genuine love for someone I wanted closer as a friend, and we both knew this was alright; it felt correct. 

He met someone new, a lovely French guy called Walt. He had moved in to study literature, and they met nowhere other than Tinder. How crazy is that? I was happy; our gang was inseparable, Lea wanted some me time alone, she went and did a Euro trip and met girls and boys who made her want to try love again. 

She was single now, sometimes she was dating a new guy or a new girl, she felt they weren't the correct one. But she wasn't angry at us, we were happy, this whole experienced had connected us in a way I never thought. I was always so afraid of her finding out, of me loosing my best friend. Or me being a home wrecker, and yes, I was, and yes, all those things happened. But we were able to come back from that. 

Sometimes, we think we understand what love is, or we can control our feelings, but we are wrong; we can't do anything when it comes to love; the only right thing is to step back, and yet your heart will be screaming that person's name day and night and not letting you sleep. 

But Max was right for me; he was patient and gave me the kind of love my heart desired. I wasn't anxious with him; I could tell Raphael was happy with Walt. 

Maybe I wanted him to be the one for me; perhaps he was, in a way, the one who made me know what love was and how far we could go for those we love. I also wanted to understand myself better and find what was right for me, not what I thought it was. 

I don't have the words to thank him for everything he taught me and for all the love he gave me. 

I'm glad we got to experience it, and sometimes, I still wonder what would've happened if we met in different circumstances. 

But now, I'm just glad I have them all in my life, I have max holding my hand and reminding me how much he loves me, his smile, the scent of his body when I wake up in the morning, the smell of fresh coffee as we sit and talk about our dreams, about our plans for the day. 

I couldn't be happier with the people I have in my life, for those who make me whole, and for the memories that I will forever treasure.

Thanks for the experiences and for teaching me how to love. 

Yours, 

Diego.