Don't tell my best friend.

6. Trust me.

Two days since we were in the bay, watching at the ocean, holding hands, two days of silence, two days of nothing, Max texted me, but my heart and my mind didn't allow me to respond him other than with emojis and with stickers that made no sense to what he was asking me, when my brain is thinking in other things it just sends a bunch of random stuff, nonsense to the moment.

Raphael had become the apple of my eyes, that was something that had never happened to me, not that I was a heart cold bitch, but still, I was going over our conversation, replaying every single moment, I was afraid I had done or said something that had killed all of our chances. And now I had all those thoughts and  Lea probably had already arrived by now.

All I could think of was that magical moment we spend on my birthday and how happy I felt for once, no tears other than the ones I left on his passenger seat, the same ones he tried to wash away with a soft kiss. Those lips that I could not stop thinking about. And just like that my daydream is dissolved with a text alert from Lea -I'm here, can't wait to see you. My heart drums in my chest, trying to fly out, and I reply to her as honest as it lets me, -neither can't I, xoxo.

Everything felt like a Déjà vu all over again, the same feeling of guilt, wondering what might happen, but I knew that Raphael hadn't spoken with her, still no text from him, I wanted him to know that he wasn't going to lose me no matter what, the connection we had, was something I was not going to let go easily.

Lea had missed me the same way I had, we talked about everything, I told her about the play and the friend I had invited over, excluding the details of Raphael being the one, but it felt nice telling her how nice the guy was to me and everything that he did to make me feel nice."Oh my God I feel the worst about missing this, look at you, you sound in love, whoever this guy is, is damn a lucky one to have you boy" She said and I could feel that she meant it, she was always happy for me and she knew how hard it was for me to open up to people, not that I was selfish, it just wasn't easy for me to open up to others, to let them in and this guy had gained that all by himself.

If only I could tell her that it was the one and only Raphael, the same guy she has been dating for almost a year, but whom she had broken up recently, will that changed her mind about what she felt for him, would she hate me? or would she be okay with it, I couldn't find the words to tell her all this, I could not do this to her.

So instead I asked her how her family was and how was her mother taking everything, she told me all about it, how sad the memorial had been and how her mother and she had somehow united after this massive loss for both of them, her mother had been keeping an eye on her same way she has been texting her day and night checking up on her.

Those were excellent news, they had argued over time, that leading to Lea moving from her mother's house almost 4 years ago, she couldn't take her anymore, mostly because Lea had been raised mostly by her grandparents her mother always working things out after her parents had divorced she never was herself again.

We were catching up when she got a text, her face lit up and I could tell from whom the text was, "I need to go don't get mad at me, I'm trying to fix things up with Raphael I broke up with him because it felt easier than telling him how broken I was and now I need to make amends with him". She said as she picked up all her stuff and called a taxi, I asked for the bill and told her I will cover it, "thanks love" she said and with a blow of a kiss she was gone.

I walked home, sadness overwhelming me, I felt like texting Tieguy and I did, because if I went home I would feel even worse, his reply was fast and within seconds I took the next turn, walking the same path I had walked many times.