Atrocious

- Chapter 24 -

Anna's POV

It was early.
Three days have now passed.
This dream or hallucination was not happening. I didn't know what to call it.
My head and heart ached. All I could think and feel was escape.
Just get out of bed, open the door and flee.
The job as a teacher, a chaotic love trio, a traumatizing hallucination, an untrained specialty and the desire to know what would happen next were the only things left on my mind.
Inevitably, I stood up and stretched. My limbs were like ice and I felt sheer shame.
'Where have I got myself into? What have I done?'
Again he was on my mind and I hoped to feel his arms and wings around me again.
'What would happen if I called?
I didn't have his number - we had never exchanged numbers. But his agency's number was certainly online.

Before I could reach for the phone, it rang. My heart stopped for a moment and I thought of fate.
The music that played was a ringtone that only one person in my contact list had.
Jinji.
When I picked up the phone, I heard loud streets and a lot of wind.
"Hey," I said, realizing how deep my voice was in the early morning.
"Oh, finally a word from you! I was worried!"
He was right.
The last time we had spoken was two weeks ago.
"I'm fine..."
"Where are you? I heard you had a training session away from home, but it was actually for the second graders?"
"Yeah..." I said tiredly, rubbing my eyes, "it's in the woods with the Wild, Wild Pussycats this time. The students have to do the training ahead of time..."
He knew where it was and was reminiscing. The areas kept fluctuating so as not to get into a routine. Jinji had already taken part in two such training programs - and therefore in different places. One was compulsory and the other voluntary.
I told him about our current training schedule and how strictly but lovingly the Pussycats trained with the students.
"Do you train yourself?" he asked and I reached through my hair. It was greasy and I really needed a shower. He didn't need to know that I hadn't left the room for days.
"Not so much - the students are the most important thing at the moment."
"The villains are everywhere Anna. You'd better prepare for the worst. I mean, if the villains come, of course you'll call me and I'll smash them, but I think you know what I'm getting at?"
I couldn't help giggling and neither could he.
"I'm making good progress..."
"But?" I asked.
"But I'm worried that it's not enough. What do I actually stand for as a superhero?"
The question wasn't entirely unexpected, but it was still difficult to answer and I sat back down on the bed.
"As a savior and protector?" I asked and couldn't help but think of his father, who hadn't received any help.
Wrong time, wrong place.
"I want to do that too..." There was a short pause and I heard mumbling in the background. He answered in the affirmative.
"...but what if I'm late?" he continued and his voice cracked a little.
He was also thinking about his father, that much was certain.
"You can't blame the heroes, and especially yourself, if it comes to that - as a hero, you try to be there for the people. Unfortunately, that can't apply to everyone. There are too few for that."
I raised a finger demonstratively, but reprimanded myself for my tired manner, because he couldn't see it:
"But you can become a role model for so many! Just think what you could achieve if you continue to believe in yourself and your cause...and I know you do."
Jinji was silent.
I allowed the silence and kept at it.
"Anna..." he whispered, "...you do so much for me. And I want to return the favor one day. I will help people wherever I can and encourage them to take their lives into their own hands!"
We laughed.
"I'll do anything for you, Jinji. Just please try to stay true to yourself..."
With that, we ended the conversation and I got up to open a window and let in the cold morning air.
He knew his way. He knew exactly what moved him.
'And what about me? Is my path the right one? Here at the UA?