Atrocious

- Chapter 30 -

I knew I was going to die.

But I didn't care.
What I wanted was my freedom and if that was just a few seconds before they killed me, I was okay with that.
Yes, I was okay with that.
My heart was silent, my legs heavy, but my will was stronger than ever.

I left the room where I had been able to move freely for the last few days. It could just as easily have been weeks. I didn't know.
The purple hallway that opened up behind the wooden door was empty. Old pictures, family photos of strangers and hanging wallpaper decorated the walls.
The surroundings were quiet. Perhaps too quiet.
I slowly walked barefoot along the corridor, holding my arms protectively in front of me.
The floorboards of the wooden floor only creaked in the middle, so I pressed myself against the wall and pushed myself further forward.
I didn't miss a door and listened carefully.
Nothing.
The attempt to open it failed and I continued.
The room behind the next door didn't open either.
'Where had everyone gone? Why is it so quiet in here?
I could hear my own breathing and my heart seemed louder than any trumpet.
It wasn't far to a turning and I crept further along the wall.
My head was aching terribly and I was worried that I would faint due to my lack of strength.
But I knew - it was all or nothing.
My thoughts were cloudy and I tried to get an overview as I reached the end of the corridor. There was another door on the left, also locked, and a small archway on the right.
I heard muffled murmurs, more like a group talking.
It sounded anxious and agitated at the same time.
I walked closer to the archway and now I saw for the first time where I had been all this time.
It was a large and open residential complex with several floors. I looked up and guessed there were 5 or 6 floors.
A small courtyard with withered bushes decorated the center of the building. Front doors decorated with old license plates that had fallen off and were also hanging down were on every floor. So it must have been abandoned.
'Only by what? Or rather, by whom?
I recognized some faces patrolling all the floors and saw Twice and that murderous student talking in the courtyard.
It wouldn't be a good time to commit suicide now and take those who were villains with me.
The dead hands guy wasn't there and he had to be, I assumed, the boss.

I was at the end of my tether, I couldn't wait any longer.
I wanted to anyway.
I couldn't stay here any longer, I couldn't be hurt and humiliated any longer.
I couldn't starve any longer.
I wanted it anyway.
I walked on shakily but determinedly. Wisps of smoke appeared between my fingers and wafted gently back and forth.
If I remembered back to what Shota said, I could set off explosions again and reduce everything here to rubble.

Shota.

I had completely forgotten the name.
Erased from my mind.
A small stitch opened up in my chest.
I wasn't as important to him as he was to me and before I wasted any more thoughts and sorrow on him I decided to
forget him.
The memory of the onsen appeared before my eyes.
When he lifted me out of the water and held me tight.
His worried look.
His lust.

I swallowed hard as I realized how much it really hurt and mentally pushed him away again.
It was over.
This was the end of me.
I now stepped into the open area and it seemed that I only had to go down two floors to get to the courtyard.
In front of me, barely 6 meters away, stood a guard with his back turned to me, peering over the parapet.
Tired and powerless, I tried to tense my fingers and began to make my fire crackle and burn between them.
One move, just take a breath and aim - then he would fall over the parapet and die, I would continue on my way down and do the worst damage from the inside.
Carefully, I raised my hands and took aim.
Sweat trickled down my scratched and stained forehead.
I took a deep breath and pulled the trigger.
A gush of red shot towards me and I instinctively squeezed my eyes tightly shut.
I opened them again and, unfortunately for me, found that the guard was still there.
In the same place.
Only this time he had turned towards me.
"What was that? What are you doing? You're not supposed to be out here!"
He pulled a small caliber from his side pocket.

"Nanana," breathed a voice behind me.
"She's not locked up, am I right? So why are you pointing your gun at her? Look at her..." he said and I turned around.
Hawks came out of the shadows of the hallway I had just been hiding from and stood next to me.
He avoided eye contact and kept his eyes glued to the guard.
A smell of burnt animal, fabric and perfume rose to my nose.
'What just happened?
"...She's so powerless. What could she do?" he continued arrogantly and I knew he was right.
"She should be locked up. That was an order...", he stammered and pushed the gun back into the holster somewhat roughly. His posture suddenly became passive.
"In this building, with grounds, correct. She may move freely. But with an escort."
He took another step and now stood in front of me. His bossy and arrogant manner almost made me vomit and I would have liked to punch him.
A dark stain on his right wing had my attention and as I looked closer, I realized what smelled like burnt animal, fabric and perfume.
It was his wings.
'Had he fended off my attack?
Why didn't I notice him before?
Now he finally turned around and my heart skipped a beat.
His eyes were glassy and wide open, his gaze pained.
I had the feeling that he was looking into my soul and trying to take it in his arms. As tightly as he could.
He nodded imperceptibly and I nodded back. Then he started to smile and turned back to the guard.
"Today, Louis, she's my toy. And my toy -" he raised his hands demonstratively and waved them back and forth in front of his nose, "- stinks. That's why she can take a bath. And outside."
"Outside?" he asked incredulously.
"The pond next door - that's right. Icy air and even icier water will make her fit again for what I have planned."
The guard immediately relaxed and pointed a finger at him:
"You rascals, Hawks."
They both laughed and looked at me.
I didn't know what to do with this conversation the whole time but just listen in disbelief and now stood in front of them, slightly slumped, looking at the ground.
The guard indicated to move on and Hawks roughly pulled me off my feet.
The other guards let us pass as well.
I tried to catch a glimpse of the courtyard, but Hawks saw fit to drag me along, keeping his distance. I kept falling at this speed and he heaved me back up with all his strength. The pain in my joints shot up into my head and all I could think about was sleep.
We now walked quickly down the floors and reached the inner courtyard. Twice and the student were no longer to be seen.
Just more guards, bored and tired, running their predetermined routes.
Wordlessly, he pulled me along and we reached a large gate, framed in wood and decorated with colored glass.
The gate was opened and I couldn't believe my eyes. Lush greenery, a cloudless sky and glaring light were all pressing down on my eyes.
For a moment, I couldn't see anything and I groaned.
"In a minute," he said softly and his grip loosened immediately.
The entrance area of the building was surrounded by trees, their wild growth forming a beautiful avenue.
Unfortunately, I couldn't enjoy it because my eyes were heavy and my body weak. I put everything I had into keeping up with him.
I didn't know how long we walked, but at some point he stopped.
A small, presumably deep pond appeared in front of us, as there was no bottom to be seen.

"Take your clothes off."