𝑯𝒆𝒚 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆, 𝑫𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒍𝒂𝒉 | ᴹᴰᴳᶜ

TRACK TWENTY-SEVEN: istillfeelthesame

Alex parked the RV in her driveway and I just climbed out and walked across the street to my house. I sat my bags on the porch while I dug in my pocket for the key to unlock the front door. Once it touched my fingers, the door swung open and Dad stood there with a smile.

"Welcome home, Mama," he said before hugging me tight. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Dad, but I literally saw you a couple days ago." I replied. "I know, I know." He told me as he let go. He bent down and grabbed my bags for me as we walked inside.

I closed the door for him and locked it before being met with a photo of Shawn and I on the wall. It was from my thirteenth birthday party. I swallowed hard, trying to hold back my tears. I turned on my heels and went upstairs to my room.

I slammed the door and locked it. I buried my face into my pillow and screamed before I began crying. I sat up and crawled to the headboard, resting my back against it, pulling my knees to my chest, and burying my head in my thighs.

When I was finally ready to leave my room, I saw Dad had left my bags outside the door. I pulled them inside my room and left them by the bottom of my bed. I heard the TV faintly coming from downstairs as I quietly made my way to Shawn's room.

I opened the door slowly and saw everything was untouched. His bed was still messy. His laundry was still in the basket in the corner. One of the drawers of his dresser was still open as if he rushed to get ready one morning.

Then on top of his dresser, there was a package. I closed the door and walked over to it. The label had my name and the address to EPIC on it as well. It's my package I never got. I felt guilty for opening it, but I couldn't help it.

There was green tissue paper on top, covering what lied inside. There was a photo album I couldn't bring myself to flip through. I sat it to the side before finding a letter at the bottom. Delilah. It read in his handwriting. I took a deep breath before opening and reading it in my head in his voice.

Hey, D. The house is quieter than usual without you and your music. (I mean that in a good way, don't worry.) I took more hours at the hospital. It's been very weird working more, but it's worth it. I heard your camp director was an ex-NHL player. Hope he's not too tough on you.

Did you make any new friends? Did anyone else join your team? Are you still with the Ducks? Sorry for all the questions. I'm a dad so I have to know everything.

I love you, Delilah, don't forget that. Dean loves you too.

~Love, Dad (well, Shawn.)
P.S. You better write me back.

I wiped my tears as I finished reading the letter. I wish I got to say a proper goodbye. I folded it back up and sat it on the dresser before finally flipping through the photo album. Inside were photos of us, Dad and I, me in my hockey gear, and the last photo finally brought a smile to my face.

It was from the game where we won the ducks' name. He was holding his megaphone in his left hand, and his right arm was around me. I ran my hand over the picture before my eyes landed on my rookie in the background. He was staring at me and smiling hard with that annoying, hypnotized, dazed look in his eyes.

I took the letter and album to my room, sitting it on my bed, then grabbing my jacket and going downstairs. I walked out the front door without a word. I heard Dad try and call out for me, but I ignored it.

I walked down the path and went over to his house. I was just about to knock when he threw open the door.

"Lilah." He nearly whispered. "Hey, rookie." I replied. I took a step closer and kissed him. He kissed me right back. When we pulled apart, I smiled and he moved to the side. "Come in." I followed him up to his room for a little more privacy.

"God, you don't know how much I missed you." He said before I hugged him. We stayed like that for a good minute, then pulling apart, but still remaining in each other's arms. "I missed you too." I responded as I ran a hand through his hair.

"So, how was camp?" He asked. "It was decent." I answered. He bit his tongue as he fought off a response. "What is it?" I questioned. He swallowed hard, looking down, and then back up at me.

"Did he... did he treat you good?" The question caught me off guard as I tried to piece together an answer. "Yeah," I said. "Yeah, he was– he was good to me." "Was he... better? Was he better than me?" He asked. "Well, he wasn't for me if that's what you're asking." "It's not." He replied.

He broke away from me and walked over to the other side of his room, putting distance between us. "No," I told him. "He wasn't better than you." "Then why didn't you just say that?" He questioned as he leaned back against his desk. "I- I don't know." I struggled to answer.

"But what I do know is that this entire summer, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Even when I was with him, I thought about you all the damn time." I said. "Then, when I came back and you ran up to me... I knew in that moment that I didn't want to love him anymore. I wanted to love you again, rookie." I admitted.

"And I'm sick and tired of pretending like I moved on because I never did." He lowered his head before looking back up at me. "I never moved on either." He said, stepping back over to me.

"Hi," I stuck out my hand for him to shake. "I'm Delilah Parker-Portman. I was born in New Jersey and I play for the Mighty Ducks." He grabbed my hand and shook it. "Logan Larue. I'm from Toronto and I also play for the Mighty Ducks." "Oh, really?" "Yeah, I've been with them for a little while now." "Wow, what a small world." "I know, right?"

🏒

I wrote a letter to Shawn and had Dad take me to where he was buried so I could give it to him. I left it leaning against the headstone and brushed the granite with my fingers. The wind blew my hair back and I could only imagine what Shawn would've had to say.

Hey, Dad. I miss you a whole lot too. Camp was fun. I made a few new friends. Jace, Cody (whose nickname is Fries because his older brother is like the main dish), AJ (Cody's older brother), and Gertie.

I'm still with the Ducks. I'd never leave them. They're my family like you. Tell my mom I love her. I'll forever and always love you too, Dad.

~ Love, your daughter, Delilah.

When Dad and I got home, all I could do was cry. He held me on the couch as I did before I fell asleep. He did too because in the morning, I woke up before him and I was still in his arms.

I heard a soft knock at the front door and snuck out of Dad's grasp. I fixed my appearance in the reflection of the TV before answering it. "Morning, Lilah." He said. "Hey, rookie." I replied. "What are you doing here?" "I'm here to make you breakfast." He responded as he walked past me and into the kitchen.

"Make yourself at home, why don't you?" I muttered. He's only ever been in my kitchen a handful of times and he already has the location of everything memorized. "Thought you missed my cooking as much as you missed me." He said. "Well, I missed it a little more than you so..." I teased. He rolled his eyes and shook his head with a smile as I smiled back.

🏒

I finally got to unpacking my bags. I tossed clothes into the laundry and put away my gear. I opened my suitcase and saw the team photo from EPIC sitting on top of my stuff. I picked it up and felt another paper behind it. I grabbed it and there was a sticky note over the drawing.

Spider-Man,
Bet you didn't know I was an artist, huh?
- Captain

The note read. The left side of my face was covered by a Spider-Man mask. I laughed to myself as I smiled. I could still hear Jace's voice in my head calling me that nickname. Only now, it's been replaced by Logan's voice calling me, 'Lilah.'