Claws & Crochet

Part 77

ZOEY

Oh god. This is it.

Commitment. The future. Life choices.

"Pine Falls is supposed to be temporary."

Warner stares at me, face slack as if I slapped him. Guilt rushes through me. That was the worst response that could have popped out of my mouth.

The worst, but also the truth.

He regains control over his expression, entreating me with his amber eyes. "That was before you came here, right? Before we met. Hell, Zoey. I'm gone for you. I can't be the only one feeling this way." He fists his hand over his heart, and I know exactly what he means.

The affection I have for Warner is more than I've ever experienced toward someone outside of my family. It's hard to believe it came on so fast. That in just a few weeks this man twined himself around my heart. He dug his claws into it, and I'm afraid of the pain that'll accompany prying that grip loose.

Hopefully, I won't have to.

"You're not the only one." I pick at a corner of foil on my forgotten burrito. A minute ago, I was half-starved. Now the idea of food makes me nauseous.

"Then stay. You already have the cabin, and friends, and me. All you have to do is change your plans. Please, Zoey"—Warner cups my elbows and rests his forehead against mine—"don't end this." From the strain of his voice, a bystander would think I have a knife in his ribs and that I'm twisting it.

The feel of him surrounding me is tempting. But I'm not one to lose my head, even if I have lost my heart.

And when I think of staying here, with the risk of that darkness crashing over me again while I'm out in the middle of the woods, alone without the safety net of my family.

Alone like Minnie.

I'll drown.

Panic chokes me.

I swallow. Then swallow again, trying my best to stifle tears that press against the back of my eyes.

This was an experiment. Turns out it was a failed one.

"Selling my grandma's cabin doesn't have to mean the end of us," I whisper hoarsely.

His fingers briefly dig into my skin, but they relax before he hurts me. "What are you saying?"

"Denver isn't a death sentence. Couples do long distance all the time."

Warner physically flinches at that suggestion, leaning away from me and shoving up from the table. Then he starts to pace, an anxious energy buzzing off him.

"No. My kind can't do long distance. Going days, even weeks without seeing you . . . without touching you?" His fingers tangle in his hair as a frustrated growl leaks from the back of his throat. "Being separated from my mate would be torture."

There's that word again. Mate. It's heavy, hanging between us. Something he expects from me. Something I don't even understand.

I probably never will.

Maybe this is why there's a separation between the humans and wolves of Pine Falls. We don't follow the same rules.

And with his dismissal of my compromise, the one bit of hope I had withers.

"I don't want to torture you." I know what mental turmoil is, and the idea I'd be the catalyst for Warner's brings on a wave of self-disgust. So, even as the words make my stomach churn and my throat tighten, they still find a way out. "Maybe, you should mate someone else."

Warner stops pacing, staring at me like I'm the embodiment of a horror movie.

With the first sentence done, I hope the rest won't cut as much. "I'm not a local. I'm not a wolf. You're talking about forever, and I haven't even figured out what's happening in my life next week. You deserve better than me, Warner. Someone who knows where she belongs. Someone who will be a good mate."

Nope. That all still hurt.

"I don't want anyone else."

"Maybe not today." I pray that time really does heal all wounds because I am torn open and bleeding.

"Stop it!" He goes on his knees beside me, and I'm shocked to realize tendrils of black are overtaking the gold of his eyes. "Stop telling me how I'll feel. I don't need some wolf or a girl that grew up here. I need you."

I want to take back everything I just said. Tell him that I need him, too.

Then a vision of the empty cabin flashes through my mind. The rooms Minnie spent her final years in, with no company but that lonely stereo. Suddenly, I can see into forever.

My future, if I stay here, is just me, slowly collapsing into myself.

My brothers are overbearing, but they also keep me sane. They're who I need. Without their unswerving love, I'll fade away.

And Warner deserves more than a drowning ghost.

I stand up from the picnic table, trying not to wobble. He moves with me, hands going to my waist. I don't know if he's steadying me or restraining me.

"Don't go. Stay here. Choose me." Rough growls color his pleading.

I shake my head. "I can't. I never planned to stay."

"Plans can change."

"Just because they can, doesn't mean they should."

Lunch is over. This was supposed to be a casual date. Me spending time with the guy I like.

So naïve. I knew letting myself be around Warner would cause problems. He's too lovable for me not to have fallen for him.

And I have. Fallen that is.

My heart will break. I can already feel the cracks splintering through me.

I have to trust that with the support of my family I'll survive. Because I will have them. In Denver I'll always have them. Not like here.

Stepping over the bench with a messed-up ankle makes a smooth exit difficult. My toe catches on the wood, and I stumble.

Warner catches me, of course.

More cracks spider web across the surface of my heart as I soak in the warmth of his hold.

This is the part in the movies where the couple has a final kiss. A farewell. But if I let myself taste him, I'll lose my nerve.

I'll stay.

And then I'll disappear.

So, I press my palms flat against his chest, applying enough pressure to make my intentions clear. He listens to the silent request, falling back a step, hands hovering palms up, waiting for me to return to his embrace.

"Thank you for caring for me," I say, turning to my truck.

"I don't just care for you, Zoey."

Coward that I am, I keep my eyes forward, wishing I could run. But then my ankle would give out, and Warner would come after me, and I might do something horrifying like cry in his arms and beg forgiveness and promise that I'll stay.

So, I walk away at a normal pace.

But I don't look back.

Author note: I'm sorry!!! How dare I hurt the loveable golden retriever that is Warner?!?! Just a reminder that if you want to read ahead, my Ream members get early chapters ...