El & Em: Two hearts, one band, a long slow ride

Chapter 9

It took less than a day for Luke to get over his resistance. At the studio the next day he spoke to Jerry, then called a meeting with the full team. He did his best to be transparent – admitting his struggles, apologizing for his lapses, and then trying to share some of his vision for the new record. He was amazed at the amount of discussion that generated; everyone had their own thoughts about the new songs, some insightful, some surprising, some out of left field. No wonder they hadn't been able to get a coherent sound. By the end of the conversation, even Luke had some new ideas to ponder over.

"But for now," he said, "I think the best we can do is take a breather. Let's all go spend some time with – with other people for a while. People we like." He laughed, trying to break the tension. "Have fun, do stuff we like doing. I know we all thought we liked playin' music before this but maybe we can take a break on that for now. We'll re-group in a month or so, take another cut at it. I'll try and do my job better when we get back. Okay?"

He had worried the guys might be annoyed at the sudden change of schedule, but their relief was palpable. No one minded being sent home mid-day, or a month of unexpected freedom. As the meeting broke up, Jerry and the techs went off to close up the control room. Leo, Pete and Gordon paused on their way out to give Luke hugs or claps on the back. No hard feelings, brother, they said, in various ways.

Emmett didn't say anything, just grabbed Luke in a long bear hug that made him feel simultaneously both tiny and ten feet tall. When he was released, he saw Eddie standing by the wall with a wry half-smile. Emmett saw him too, and said quickly, "I'm gonna grab a ride home with Sol. I'll call you, man."

"Thanks for everything, Em."

Eddie came over as Emmett left. "So, uh ... Jenny wants to know if you want a ride with us? That's if, you know, we're people you like."

That made Luke laugh with relief, and he happily accepted.

The next month passed quickly and very pleasantly. While the pressure never left him entirely, it felt manageable. He dared to hope things might be better when they went back to work; he even dared to stop thinking about his work altogether for a short while. Instead, he hung out with Eddie and Jenny, he took a couple of girls out on dates, he danced all night at the Artemis with José, and he didn't talk to Jerry at all. Emmett borrowed his aunt's car one day and the two of them drove out to Atlantic City, where they strolled the boardwalk, sat on the beach, goofed around in the water, ate hot dogs from carts, and watched the sun set over the casino resorts before driving back to Philly in the evening dusk.

For the first few weeks Luke didn't think or talk about the album. But by early April he was antsy, and anxious to do what he could to prepare for a better second session. He asked Eddie for some time, and they had a long conversation about what had worked and what hadn't. The two of them met with Jerry to go over more ideas for production and mixing. Luke had lunch with Leo, Pete and Gordon separately – he didn't bring up the recording unless they did, and if they did he tried to just listen to their thoughts. There was no need to make a special date with Emmett; they spoke on the phone daily by this time, and hung out almost as often.

When everyone reconvened at the studio near the end of April, Luke opened the session with an outline of what the record was about, how he wanted it to sound and what he wanted it to say, what was working and what wasn't. He'd spent some time getting his thoughts organized, so he was better able to describe what he was looking for.

That day they were working on the album's title track, a scorching anthem about finding a moment of grace in a sea of despair. Luke tried to set the mood by telling an anecdote he'd heard from a friend, about going to the welfare office after losing a long-time factory job. His friend had spoken about his rage at the company that let him go, his fear of losing his home and maybe more, his shame at having to apply for benefits – only to walk into the office and run into several buddies there, all feeling the same way. "It's like there was more of us there than there was at work," the friend said with a kind of bitter satisfaction. "It sorta turned into a party."