Downfall

25.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Harry yelled. Okay fair enough he wasn't yelling, but it sounded like that because I was a bit hungover.

"Your loud voice is my problem" I mumbled.

"What is this?" He asked, holding an empty bottle in his hands. "That's vodka Harry"

"Yeah no shit sherlock" he rolled his eyes. "Why are you drinking a whole bottle of vodka by yourself?"

Thank God I hide my pills, he would totally freak out if he saw them.

"Because I'm miserable!" I laughed as I looked at him. "I am fucking miserable"

He looked at me, blinked a few times before dropping the bottle and crawled with me on the bed.

He put my head against his chest and held me.

And I broke down, I was way too sober for this anyways.

"I just can't do this anymore Harry" I cried, let it all out. "Then we go back to LA" he said softly.

But that gave me even more anxiety. LA was the last place I wanted to be right now.

"Juliana called me.." He said, held my face in his hands. "You're nominated for several oscars"

I already knew that.

"When were you gonna tell me?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Never? I can't do it Harry, I can't walk that red carpet, can't pretend to be happy and I won't win anyways"

He didn't say anything to that - he probably realized I was far too broken.
Didn't want to push me into anything because he knew I was gonna push myself.

I got ready after that. Took a shower, did my hair, makeup and everything to look as if I was perfectly happy.

Took some pills when Harry wasn't looking and put my sunglasses on.

We were way too late when we walked in the paddock, but it didn't matter anyways.

Watched the race in the Red Bull garage, with Harry next to me but I bet he wasn't watching the race at all.

He was watching his boyfriend.

"You're Daisy, right?" Someone asked, shook me out of my thoughts. "Uh-yeah" I nodded.

"I am Kelly, Max's girlfriend" she smiled.

"Oh right!" I acted as if I knew exactly who she was. "You must be proud"

Not necessary because Max won every race, but more because she had a boyfriend who loves her.

Must be nice.

"Yeah Max is amazing" she smiled as she looked at the screen which showed the broadcast.

I nodded. "Yeah he's cool" I mumbled, leaning on the table.

Harry nudged me. Don't know what I did wrong now but I stood up straight again.

I needed sleep, when was this race finally over so I could fly to a different country and hide?

"You wanna wave the flag?" Someone asked, probably someone from the FIA, someone who banned me from this paddock.

Someone who said I was bad for their image.

"What flag?" I asked, not interested in waving any flag at this point if I was honest. "The chequered flag obviously" Harry nudged me, laughed nervously.

He knew I was on something more than just vodka.

"No thanks" I shook my head. They could stop using me now.

"Daisy, you're famous and it will be goo-" the man wanted to convince me but I just started laughing. A bit too loud.

"It will be good for your image?" I looked at Harry. "Can you believe this man?" I laughed.

"You banned me from this paddock because I was a bad look, bad for the reputation of your sport" I looked back at him, took my sunglasses off.

"So go wave your damn chequered flag yourself"

Harry cleared his throat and chuckled nervously. "What she means is-"

"What I mean is that I am not gonna wave that flag" I said as nicely as I could and ended the sentence with a smile.

The guy looked at me, but didn't say a word. He knew I was right.
He turned around and walked away.

"You're right though" Kelly whispered.

I couldn't wait to get out of here.