You already know so much about me, so I don't have a lot to write. You know about what I've been through, well some of it, but you know more than others.
All I ask of you is to not hurt me, to not betray me. You know how it feels to want to die, to cut, to feel useless. You know how I feel but then you don't, you assume that I'm okay or getting better.
For someone who knows a lot about me you really do assume the wrong things.
I know I get annoying and sad, but I don't know better I've lived a life of pain and misery not telling anyone, but then you showed up and I've got someone to talk to. I'm grateful, trust me it's just I am not you.
I don't handle my emotions in the same way, act the same way, so stop assuming that we are.
Some times you make me feel happy and normal and then most the time I feel stupid and guilty. I see how you look at me and think about how perfect my life is compared to yours, and trust me I know.
I know I'm a stupid little girl who needs to get over herself, I am trying.
Mabye I'm not, trying that is. Maybe I've had enough and my mask is falling off. I can just pretend to be happy in front of you all but I'm not. It would explain alot. Suicide is back on my mode and I just can't.
Maybe I don't deserve to be happy.
From the self-loathing idiot
YOU ARE READING
Letters for you
AcakIn here, lies, the words that will never be spoken, by me. Things I wish I could say. To those who have hurt me, and those who love me.
