Shutout

Chapter 23 - Kane

Although it never leaves those affected by it, the world tries to forget the hate spewed on the ice those weeks ago. The media has moved on; the player was never disciplined, and Logan doesn't bring it up. Some days I think I see the exhaustion of it bearing down on him, but maybe that's just me projecting. 

I did see the pain when we conducted his interview for the article. We had sat in my living room, with Harold watching over us in his cat tree. Logan stumbled over his words or simply had none that came to mind with certain questions, but he tried his best. Like all other interviewees, there is a lingering pain from past experiences that taint their reactions to questions or memories or answers. An unconsented burden on what they love to do. Passion is often shadowed by fear and anxiety and uncertainty. 

When it ends, Logan looks uncomfortable in his skin, so I throw myself at him. Like that night, he cried on my shoulder. We use each other's weights as we rest on the couch to certain ourselves. I weasel a smile out of him when I kiss his nose. 

The Cardinals play one more home game and two away games before it, the night of Luis Cohen's infamous Christmas party, as Logan has been informed. Only one of those games has been won, so the Christmas party is sorely needed. I've been demanded to attend according to both Logan and Bac's insistence. However, I'm nervous because there'll be so many new people and new names and new faces and new spaces. Logan promises me we don't have to stay long, but I have a feeling that once we enter the premises, it will be hard to leave. 

To really set the scene, it's snowing the night of the Christmas party. There was already snow on the ground from a snowstorm a few days ago, but the new flakes bring a different, more holiday-equse vibe to the night. Logan told me we didn't have to dress fancy, but I still try to dress as nice as I can, given my closet, just so I don't stick out more than I already will. I pair it all with my deep, sparkly red cane that Mom bought me for Christmas a few years ago. 

We end up close to the front door because Logan thinks they're all taking Ubers so that they can get fucked up. It's a good idea that we should have thought about. But I guess when one of us can't drink, then what's the worst that could happen?

The house is ginormous and decorated like those Christmas house decor competition shows that rerun on TLC during the season. Candy canes, a giant inflatable Santa Claus, millions of little lights, and an inflatable gingerbread house decorate the house and yard. It makes me grip my cane tighter, suddenly aware of how low-class I might seem to these people. Logan has never treated me like I'm poor because he's a cheapskate but these people will obviously notice how i different, right? Fuck, my clothes are probably shitty—

"You good?" Logan gives my arm a little squeeze, bringing me out of my head. 

I gaze at him from under the blue and white Christmas lights. His hair has grown, and he hasn't made any mention of getting a haircut so I don't say anything either. It fits him, makes him look younger and more like a jock. Fuck my type. He's wearing a dark maroon blazer over a creme shirt tucked into slacks. He looks both goofy and high-class if that's possible. I like how the Christmas lights shadow his lips and make them look puckered. 

I suck in a deep, cold breath, shivering momentarily as we stand outside in the snow, "Yeah. Are you nervous?"

Logan stares at me for a moment before a smile creeps onto his face. He peeks my lips before i can even respond which is kind of rude but whatever, "No need for you to be nervous, baby. They have already tried to get to know you through me, so I think they'll really enjoy meeting you. You guys all have the same annoying sense of humor. And if they can stand Bac, they will undoubtedly like you."

I let out a relieved laugh and weakly nudged his shoulder, "Don't be mean to Bac. You're just too boring to understand him."

Logan rolls his eyes and slides his arm through my elbow to start walking us towards the front door again, "There's nothing to understand."