A Thousand Times Enough

* Chapter 42 *

XLII. • °

Silas Pov

I was planning on seeing Josie today before we went back to school tomorrow. I knew things wouldn't change between us even though we were going back to our normal, but I wanted to show her that things would be the same as they are now.

I had been so busy with work since I had gotten back besides the bookstore, since I wasn't there it had been closed. It was like that on days that I couldn't be there all day after school or in my free time. Josie didn't know that she would be helping me out a lot with the upkeep of the store, I needed to be working on hiring more people to help keep it open.

I just never had the time, and it bothered me more than anything.

The couple that we sold the house to has been on my mind as well and I couldn't shake that feeling. I didn't feel good about it, I had hoped that he would take my advice and get the house inspected. When we walked back in the house his wife was so happy when she decided that they were indeed going to buy.

Of course, Florien wasted no time, so I had to stand there for hours and regret my decision over and over again. To be honest, I was happy when we missed sales and I know it might be crazy to say but I was. I didn't care about the business and if the business had fallen through it would be what my dad deserved.

I didn't care about that or about him. I had always known about my hatred for him ever since I was younger and I was wise enough to understand the terrible person he was. I questioned all the time how Florien never saw, actually, I questioned why he was so oblivious to not see the pain our mom went through.

She was always a strong woman and still is, she never let her kids see her cry...not that she knows of. I would hear it all the time I snuck down to the staircase and watched as she held the box of tissues close to her chest. She had nobody, nobody to talk to. I know it had to be torture to live that way.

Not only did I hear it, but so did Eva, she would sit behind me on the steps but never for too long. She never wanted me to see her like that and she tried to hide it from me as well but it only took so long for me to figure it out.

I wanted to bring it up to Mom, I always did, but she told me no and to stay out of it. That she didn't want Mom and Dad to get a divorce, and that it would be the worst thing to happen. Even though she wasn't a fan of Dad either, she always abided by that. I always believed her, but I knew Mom wouldn't leave him anyway.

She loved him more than she loved herself and that was clear, but what she loved more than him was us. And I know we had a big part in why she really never walked away from him.

Her mother and father were married for 30 years before they both passed away. She used to tell us stories about how happy they were and how they got through anything together. Her mother loved my dad. My mom said that when she and my dad first met her mom loved him, she thought that her daughter would be okay with him and that he would take care of her and their family.

She was right, my dad was a good provider and always a determined man. He would never allow us to be out on the street that I can say, but just being a provider for your family doesn't mean that anything else you do after is excused. It's not and it would never be excused by me.

But I knew that as long as I was under his roof I would respect him even though rage burned through my flesh whenever I couldn't say what I wanted. I kept the peace, but how long would that last?