Darkside (BkDK)

~~** Side effects vs suppressed issues: Who will be the victor? **~~

"You people just don't fucking get it do you? I need to apologize to the Nerd! I'm not trying to hook up damn it!" Kacchan's voice could be heard clearly through Izuku's closed door as the blonde was confronted by Present Mic.

"You can apologize when you see him in class. You both need to follow through with Nemuri and Ryo's plan and that means not being alone together for now. They know what they're doing and they can help you both recover from this but you have to listen to them ya dig?"

"Fine. Can I at least leave this for him?"

"You know I'm really not supposed to little listener-"

"Present Mic, Mr. Yamada Sir. Please."

"Sure thing kid. But no telling Shota!"

The hallway went quiet after that and when Izuku opened his door to get lunch, as mandated by his therapist since apparently he was rather malnourished after months of not eating properly, he found a shoebox with a note attached to it.

Bunny,

I don't care what you say, you are still Bunny. I miss you. Did you know that? You're right fucking there and I can't reach you. These assholes won't even let me fucking text you! This is bullshit. I was hoping I could get this back to you before some jerkwad teacher found me but if you're reading this I fucking failed. Again.

I feel like that's all I do lately. Fucking fail. I couldn't protect you from that Darkside bitch and I couldn't help you when you were struggling. I knew something bigger was happening that you weren't telling me about but I still did nothing. I'm not even gonna get into the shit from middle school. I know you've told me all that was in the past but it isn't. Not for me. Truth? I don't think it ever will be.

My nightmares were always set in middle school. Did I ever tell you that? I haven't had them recently, been doing surprisingly well with that shit. Turns out the mindfuck from Darkside triggered them to stop. Who could have fucking guessed? When I did have them it was always set back then. When they started up in second year they were all about that sludge bastard but by the time we were mid-way through third year they began to change. It wasn't him anymore, or at least mostly not. Did I ever tell you they were mostly about us?

The one I had the most was on the roof of our old school. You were standing on the ledge and I was trying to apologize and begging you to come back down but I was being held back by something I could never see. I couldn't reach you and you wouldn't look at me but I always knew you were crying. Why the fuck wouldn't you be? The asshole you grew up with that was supposed to be your fucking friend actually told you to take a swan dive.

I can't believe you ever even considered forgiving me for that shit. But then that's just who you are, isn't it Nerd? You are kind and gentle. You forgive easily but not lightly. You are soft and innocent and sweet but fierce and so damn strong when you need to be. I know you probably don't want to and I have no right to ask but I need you to do me a favor Bunny. I need you to talk to the damn Mutt.

Before you ask: yes. The shitting teachers and the Old Hag made me agree to see Hound Dog twice a week for a while. I'm sure that oversized brain of yours would have figured it out eventually but I thought I might as well just tell you. You don't need to worry about why, it's no big and you have your own shit to worry about.

I don't know how long they are gonna keep you away but however long it is will be too damn long. You need to know that I still love you, Izuku. I love you so fucking much but I think you were right. Maybe we shouldn't be together like that. We both have a lot of shit to get fixed in our fucked up heads. I think we probably should listen to Ambian. Ignoring how much she's in love with her own damn boobs, I guess she DOES know what she's talking about with this kind of shit. We can't be good for anyone in the states we're in now. Especially not each other. As much as it feels like swallowing glass to say it. Yes I know I'm fucking writing - shut up.

I know you saw everything with Shitty Hair, so stop telling me to go to him, would ya? You both deserve somebody better. Red finally realized he doesn't really want more with me than friends so that's good for him. Eijiro is a good guy, he'll find somebody that will be a better fit for him. Maybe Metal Mouth. Who knows. It just better be someone who can make him happy, not give him headaches. Don't you dare fucking tell him I said that! His big ass head is inflated enough already.

Did you know Pink Cheeks is still into you? She's not my type but I know you like her. That was obnoxiously obvious last year. She's still your best friend no matter what you think so don't give her a hard time. That chick is strong. She seems all sunshine and rainbows and shit but she's gonna be a fucking great Hero. Again you do NOT repeat that! Not saying you have to get with her if you don't want to when you're ready, just layin' out options.

Maybe if I can get my shit together and you get your head out of your ass and realize you are STILL going to be the new Symbol of Peace one day we can work together as partners like we planned? If you want to. We have a year left before we get our Pro licenses. Plenty of time for us to get right and decide if you want to be the 'Wonder Duo' or not after graduation. For now, we just start with classes and the next round of internships. I plan to kick your ass again so be ready to see my name above yours all year Nerd.

Class 2A's Attack Pomeranian

Izuku couldn't help but giggle at the blonde's chosen sign off as he wiped away the silent tears clouding his vision. He spent so much time over the last few weeks trying desperately to convince himself that he was doing the right thing by not only himself but the boy he loved as well. It had to be better for everyone for someone like him to just disappear. How could it NOT be? He was dangerous. Arrogant. Weak.

Who was I trying to kid the last two years? You're wrong Kacchan. I can never be a Hero. I was only playing into a childish dream that was never meant to be realized. I was born quirkless and that's how it should have stayed. Look at all the damage I've done to my mother, to my friends, to myself! I've broken every bone in my body and forced Recovery Girl to use her quirk a myriad of times just so I can keep playing pretend. The countless number of times everybody in the class had to help me because I've never been good enough to do it on my own. I'm just not like Kacchan. He's so strong. Not just his muscles or his quirk but his resolve and his mindset. I know everybody has challenges but he's never even once stopped to think about NOT being a Hero. Ever since we were three he's wanted to be just like All Might. He's got the skill, the quirk, the mind for it. So what if he struggles with emotions and comes off as angry all the time? Endeavor is one of the biggest assholes I know for a plethora of different reasons and that doesn't change the fact that he's the new number one. And for good reason. He may be a garbage pile of a human but he's a good Hero. Meanwhile, I'm over here getting praised by psychopaths like Hero Killer Stain. I'll never be on the same level as Kaccchan. Why did I ever think I could? Why would he still even consider being partners with someone as useless as me?

The greenette's thoughts started to spiral in a rather dark direction until the soft weight in his hand reminded him that there was actually something INSIDE the box the blonde had left for him. Removing the lid his flood of tears began anew as he looked down at one Mr. Usagi and a second, far shorter note.

You have no idea what I had to trade some damn brat in that park to get this fucker back so you'd better appreciate it and never try to get rid of it. Ever. I find this shit missing from your room again I'll kick your ass. Idiot.

Laughing despite his tears and the decidedly negative nature of his thoughts mere moments ago, Deku couldn't help the happy feeling he got from the cheap toy and the very Kacchan-like note. Dropping the now empty box and hugging the slightly patchy but still soft bunny closely, the freckled teen didn't notice as his lips curled up into a tiny smile for the first time in what felt like years.